Change is Good II
by Cara Mia
Summary: ON HIATUS Sequel to 'Change is Good'. Four years later... what changes has time brought to good ol' Port Charles? detailed summary inside
1. Chapter 1

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

Summary: Sequel to "Change is Good". Elizabeth and Zander's daughter, Joanna, is four years old. Liz and Jason have been married for three years but can this 12-year-old man deal with family and being two very different people? Jason and Monica have closed the gap that existed between them after his accident; how does Alan feel about being excluded from their reunion? Emily returns with a secret to tell Zander. Can Nikolas and Gia's fledgling relationship survive Gia's suspicions about her return? Carly is deathly ill and Sonny is forced to take care of the children he hasn't seen in five years. Where do Alexis and Justus fit in this equation?

A/N: It's been a while coming but I've got it now, so I hope you enjoy this as much as you did the first installment. The story will be focused on a variety of persons/pairings and will be going back and forth between years, so I hope it won't get too confusing.

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CHAPTER 1

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Port Charles, July 2008, PH2

Hearing Joanna's words gave Zander pause outside his daughter's bedroom. He looked to Emily; the tentative smile she gave filled him with hope and he couldn't help returning it, but he looked away quickly and stepped around the corner.

Joey's sleepy brown eyes lit up as she caught sight of her father. Elizabeth lifted a brow, wondering just how much of their conversation he'd heard. After all, there was no mistaking this 'someone' that Joanna had meant.

"Hey, pumpkin. All ready for dreamland?"

"Uh-huh. I want a hug, Daddy," she said sleepily, reaching up for him.

Zander hugged her fiercely to him, inhaling that little girl scent - birthday cake, candy and strawberry shampoo. "I love you, Joey," he whispered softly.

"I love you too, Daddy," she managed just before her eyes closed and she fell asleep. Zander tucked her blanket more securely under her chin and the four adults tip-toed from the room, Jason pausing to quietly close the door behind them.

"I ought to be going," Emily was saying as they made their way down the stairs.

"I can give you a lift," Zander offered.

Emily hesitated for the barest of seconds before she smiled. "Thanks."

"It's no problem."

"Are you staying with the Q's?" Elizabeth asked as they reached the bottom and she handed them their light jackets.

"Nope. Grandmother tried to convince me but I'm staying at the hotel. Thanks, I had a great time," she continued, pressing a kiss to her brother's cheek. "G'night, Jas, Liz."

"Night, Em," Jason replied. Elizabeth gave her a hug and Zander held the door open for her.

"See you later, guys," Zander said before quietly closing the door behind him.

Jason turned to head back upstairs but Elizabeth still stood there looking at the door - well, if she had X-ray vision, she would be looking beyond the door to the couple making their way to the elevator. "What?" he asked curiously.

She turned to him. "This should be very interesting," was all she could say.

Outside, the night was warm and balmy but a cool breeze blew in from the River. As Zander drove, Emily took a deep breath, happy to be home.

"I can't believe how _big_ Joanna's gotten," she said suddenly, thinking of her goddaughter.

At the mention of his daughter's name a smile quirked Zander's lips upwards. He took his eyes from the road and momentarily looked at her. "Sometimes, neither can I."

There was no mistaking the paternal pride in his voice. He loved Joanna; he'd loved her from the moment he'd learned of her existence; he'd lost his heart to her the first moment she looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers and lost another piece of himself every time she did it now.

Emily smiled softly, but something else lurked in her eyes. "You two have done a great job of raising her," Emily continued saying.

"Us _three_," Zander corrected. "Jason helps out, too."

"She's a lucky little girl."

"No, _I'm_ the lucky one." Zander turned off the main road and pulled up to the Port Charles Hotel.

"Thank you, Zander," she said, giving him that smile that melted his insides like chocolate candy.

"No problem."

Emily bit her lip and seemed to debate with herself for a while. "Want to come up for a bit, Z?" she asked softly.

Her utterance of his pet name gave him pause and, thinking back to their conversation that evening, he so wanted to take her up on the offer. But he couldn't; he'd made so much progress in the past four years, he couldn't make himself even more vulnerable to her than he already was. "Not tonight, Em," he replied, equally as softly. The smile fell from her face and, damning himself for caring so much he rushed on, "Rain check?"

"Sure." She smiled tentatively again and exited the car.

He watched Emily's retreating figure until it stood under the lights at the lobby entrance. _Where was the anger?_ he wondered.

When she caught sight of him still there she sent him a questioning smile. He simply waved in reply and drove off.

Joanna was fast asleep, the kitchen and living-room were cleaned up, the security alarm was set and the penthouse was dark and quiet. Jason padded down the hallway and quietly shut his bedroom door.

Elizabeth was perched at the vanity, brushing out her unruly hair.

Jason's warm hands settled on her shoulders and she smothered a moan when he bent and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck. "Joey's asleep," he said softly, trailing his fingertips over the creamy skin of her collar.

"And?" asked Liz devilishly, although she had a pretty good idea where this was all leading.

"I want you," he announced huskily. Two pairs of blue eyes collided in the mirror. Elizabeth's widened and then darkened with desire as Jason's fingers nimbly unbuttoned her pajama top and delved inside to cup her bare breasts. Her head fell back onto his stomach as arousal ignited low in her belly. Jason's mouth covered hers and he squeezed the aching mounds gently.

As usual, the passion rose hot and fast between them; control was a foreign concept.

Some things really never changed.

Port Charles, March 2004, Liz and Zander's apartment building

At the entrance outside her apartment building, Jason and Elizabeth paused. She turned and looked up at him. They'd spent the rest of the day together; it was almost eight and the temperature was below freezing point but the way his silver-blue eyes held hers was enough to warm any girl's heart and most definitely their body.

"I should be heading up," she said reluctantly, her words frosting in the cold night air.

"Of course," Jason replied in a tone that indicated that was the last thing he wanted her to do. He took in their surroundings. It wasn't as bad as her studio, but this neighbourhood still wasn't the safest. Zander wasn't home and he worried. He'd put a guard on her tomorrow but, for now, he'd walk her to her door.

"Walk you up?" he asked, although he knew the question was more of a formality than an actual request.

"You don't have to do that, Jas."

"I want to."

Elizabeth smiled softly and turned to unlock the door. They stepped inside the welcome warmth of the tiny foyer and headed for the stairs. Liz and Zander's apartment was on the second floor so it wasn't that long or tiring of a journey.

Outside her door, they paused again and turned to face each other. Without pause, Jason tugged the pompom hat from her head and, crowding her until her back lay flush against the door, buried his fingers in the mass of curls and covered her mouth with his.

He got that feeling that said even if he did this every day for the rest of his life, he'd never get enough of it, he'd never grow tired of it. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. He would always be starved for the honeyed taste of her tongue, for the vanilla scent of her skin, for that little whimper she made in the back of her throat when he nipped her bottom lip gently and then soothed it with his tongue.

By this time, Liz had molded herself against him until he could feel her every curve and the little mound of her stomach. He knew that if he didn't put a halt to this he would be tempted to say or do something highly inappropriate - like make love to her against her door, her neighbours be damned. Jason dragged his lips away and, drawing on every scrap of discipline and control he had, stepped away from her.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked huskily.

Elizabeth looked dazed and she barely managed to smile shakily as she turned and fumbled to get her keys into the lock. Taking pity on her, Jason took the keys from her and quickly unlocked the door. "Tomorrow," she echoed.

After she'd closed the door Jason smiled. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

Port Charles, July 2008, PH2

The half moon slanted through the window, bathing their naked bodies in an ethereal glow.

Elizabeth was sitting up, propped up on her pillows. Jason lay half atop her, his head on her stomach with his spiky blonde hair tickling her each time he took a breath, his hands gently cradling her hips.

Her fingers were constantly threading through his hair and she was immensely content, a dreamy smile on her face. Jason stirred and, pressing a kiss below her navel looked up, his blue eyes finding hers in the dark.

Elizabeth's fingers stilled and she licked her lips. She opened her mouth and closed it. She did it again and in the moonlight she could see Jason's confused look. He moved to speak but Elizabeth cut him off. "I'm pregnant," she blurted.

Those two words hung in the air and her ever-prepared husband's mouth fell open.

Well... she certainly hadn't expected it to come out quite like that.

TBC...

A/N: Well, what do you think? Drop me a line to let me know.


	2. Chapter 2

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

Summary: Sequel to "Change is Good". Elizabeth and Zander's daughter, Joanna, is four years old. Liz and Jason have been married for three years but can this 12-year-old man deal with family and being two very different people? Jason and Monica have closed the gap that existed between them after his accident; how does Alan feel about being excluded from their reunion? Emily returns with a secret to tell Zander. Can Nikolas and Gia's fledgling relationship survive Gia's suspicions about her return? Carly is deathly ill and Sonny is forced to take care of the children he hasn't seen in five years. Where do Alexis and Justus fit in this equation?

A/N: Thanks for all the amazing response I have gotten for the first chapter. Please keep it up.

X-X-X-X-X

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CHAPTER 2

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Port Charles, March 2004, PH2

It was approaching midnight when Jason unlocked the door to his penthouse. He wasn't tired; he was filled with excess energy. It was a no-brainer who was the cause of it all. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a hot shower, a cold beer and a quick game of pool, he thought. His mind flashed back to kissing Elizabeth on the docks and again outside her apartment; make that a cold shower.

He'd expected to come home to darkness, filled perhaps with the lingering scent of Emily's light perfume. He hadn't expected to open the door and see said sister awake in his Lay-Z Boy and staring uninterestedly at the television. Emily looked up as she heard her brother coming inside.

"Hey," he called softly, setting down the bag Nikolas had brought to Kelly's and stripping off his jacket and gloves. "Everything all right?" he continued, heading over to her.

Emily smiled at her brother softly. "Everything's fine - better than it's been for a while."

Jason arched a brow, waiting for her to continue.

"My divorce came through today... well, yesterday," she explained.

"And that makes you happy." It was more a statement than a question. One he certainly hadn't expected her to debate. "It doesn't?" he asked dubiously after a few long seconds of silence.

Em shrugged. "Part of me is relieved - it's the part of me that allowed myself to be pressured into this marriage in the first place; the part of me that betrayed Zander. I've let go of a part of myself that I didn't like very much."

"What about the other part?"

For a while, Emily did not say anything again. "The engagement's off for real. I gave Nikolas his ring back...." she heaved a sigh and wrapped a blanket tighter about her. "I hate that my love life was what defined me; made me into someone that I didn't even recognise; someone that I hated." Her brown eyes found her brother's in the dark. "So I'm glad in a sense."

Jason didn't quite understand. If she was glad, then why were tears streaming down her face? This time, there was no awkwardness as he pulled her into his arms and rocked her through her tears.

They weren't sure how much time had passed when Emily pulled away. "I want you to do something for me, Jason."

"Anything," he replied, though a certain trepidation found its way into his heart.

"Help me to disappear."

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, July 2008, Port Charles Hotel

Emily looked out her window to the dark Port Charles Harbour. Every now and then she could see little flickers of light on the river and the white shapes of the boats bobbing on the water in the moonlight. She didn't really see them, however. She was too consumed with her thoughts of Joanna's birthday party.

Shameful as it was, she hadn't met her goddaughter before tonight. Of course Liz had sent her photos and letters via email but nothing could have prepared her for the impact of seeing Joey in person.

She looked so much like her father Emily got goosebumps thinking about it. Her heart squeezed at the child's cherubic smile and a part of her couldn't help but wonder 'What if?'. What if she hadn't betrayed her vows to her husband... what if what happened in London had never happened...?

Emily physically shook those thoughts from her head. It wouldn't do any good to think about that tonight.

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, March 2004, PH2

Jason clearly was taken aback by his sister's request. "Disappear?" he echoed dubiously.

"Disappear." She threw the blanket from around her and sat forward, her face suddenly animated. "Well, not disappear to the point where I would need a new identity... just help me to leave Port Charles."

Inwardly, Jason was stunned. In his line of work, he wasn't surprised by many things, but he was by this. "Why?"

The light faded from Emily's eyes and she sat back again. "Too many memories here... too many obligations, expectations...."

He knew how she felt; after all he'd felt the same way when he had woken up in the hospital with no recollection of life prior to that day. There'd been too many people telling him then who he was and what was expected of him.

"I've always had a name attached to me," she continued saying. "First, it was Emily, orphan girl, then Emily the drug-addict, Emily the cripple, Emily the cancer victim, Emily, Zander's wife, Nikolas's fiancée!" Her voice had steadily risen with each example and she paused as she realised this. "I want to be just Emily for a change."

Jason remained silent and Emily felt sure that he would not help her.

"Ok."

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, July 2008, Zander's apartment

In hindsight, when he'd gotten over the shock and then giddiness of seeing her again, curiosity had set in. He realised he had given up on anger a long time ago. What with helping Liz run her gallery, managing her career and raising their daughter, anger was an unnecessary waste of energy.

Intrigue was plentiful, however. He was intrigued by the woman she'd become, intrigued by the brand of emotions she carried about her, intrigued by the look in her brown eyes - soft and... haunted?

He hadn't wanted to put a name to that particular emotion... an emotion that clouded her eyes every time she looked at his daughter.

Zander frowned and turned to his side in bed. He couldn't help but wonder what had put that look in her eyes.

X-X-X-X-X

London, June 2006

Of all the thousands of pubs scattered throughout the sprawling metropolis that was London, he had to be sitting in her favourite. Even though his back was to her, there was no mistaking that set of broad shoulders; the pale skin; beautiful hands with long, slender fingers; that unruly cap of black hair.

Emily remained frozen where she stood, one part of her screaming to turn around and run like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels; the other part wanted to stay there and stare at this beautiful creature forever.

As if sensing that he was being watched, Zander turned around. Two years worth of emotions flashed across his chocolate eyes as he looked at her - surprise, anger, acceptance, and happiness? It was the idea that he was happy to see her that made her take that first step towards him.

What happened next was inevitable. Alcohol loosened tongues and screwed with their sanity. They didn't know who made the first move but all they could remember was warmth and nips and kisses, sighs and moans, a flash of pleasure that made one or both of them sing for their Maker... all before Zander woke up in a cold hotel room alone with the scent of their lovemaking still hanging in the air.

He'd been late getting his act together and to the airport; he'd almost missed his flight and, in the eight hours it took to fly over the Atlantic to New York City, he'd been assuaged with the memories of their night together. When Liz, through her coughs and sniffles, asked how London had been, he'd admitted that he'd seen Emily. Both she and Jason were eager for news but he'd told them they hadn't talked much - it certainly was the conversation that he remembered about that night.

Across the Atlantic, Emily's biology started playing games with her. One week had come and gone and another. The third week was fast approaching when she finally bit the bullet and bought the test.

A tiny blue plus sign.

She bought another.

And another.

And another....

Blue plus sign; two blue lines; a big fat digital 'POSITIVE' - all meaning the same thing....

She was pregnant.

Emily floated around in disbelief, in a sea of denial, of uncertainty for the next few hours. Had Elizabeth felt this way when she'd found out she was pregnant? Had she felt this cloying, suffocating fear?

Fear had gradually given away to grudging acceptance... then joy; she fell asleep with a smile on her face and her hands cradling her still flat stomach.

The pain came in the middle of the night, jack-knifing through her nether regions and jerking her awake. She muffled a cry of agony in her pillow and struggled through the haze of pain that crashed over her in waves. She barely made it to the bathroom before she felt a rush of sticky wetness between her thighs. The tears started to fall before she even switched on the light and stared at the red river between her legs.

Emily crumbled to her knees, keening as both the horrendous pain and a crippling sense of loss threatened to drown her. Her final thought before everything went black was: _Goodbye, baby...._

TBC...

AN: Drop me a line to let me know what you thought. I'm a review junkie, so I'm a-cravin', lol.

Cara


	3. Chapter 3

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

A/N: Thanks for all the amazing response I have gotten for the first chapter. Please keep it up. Now, most persons familiar with my work know that I am a diehard Sexis fan. I have, however been getting some emails wondering when I'll start including the _Carson_ action. I am not a Carson fan and in the next few chapters, you'll think I'm probably writing a Sexis story. I confess, it was going that way, but I think it's a challenge for me to write a pairing that I don't really appreciate (I'm trying to say nicely I hate the pairing actually, lol), so I'll try to be a little Carson sympathetic. But, remember, Carly's "deathly ill". What she's suffering from won't magically clear up. Just warning you all in advance.

X-X-X-X-X

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CHAPTER 3

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Port Charles, July 2008 (earlier that evening), PH2

"They're not coming are they?"

Elizabeth turned to her husband as she set the phone back on the cradle. "No. Mrs. Delaney says Marissa has strep-throat."

Jason nodded, though his eyes indicated that he didn't believe it for a second.

Tears gathered in Elizabeth eyes - her daughter's birthday party was shaping up to be a disaster.

"It'll be fine."

Liz's lip wobbled and she struggled not to cry. "No, it _won't_. This is my daughter's birthday and those hypocritical _bitches_ are ruining it!"

Jason's jaw tightened and he stepped forward and wrapped his wife in his arms. He knew why Joey's birthday party was shaping up to be a disaster - it was because of who he was, not because Joey wasn't a delightful little girl. He couldn't help but wonder if they'd be so quick to cancel if Jason _Quartermaine_ was hosting a party for his stepdaughter....

X-X-X-X-X

"Kristina's so bummed she had to miss the party."

"I can imagine," replied Cameron dryly, as they paused outside PH2. Before he could lift a hand to knock, the door swung open and a dark-haired hurricane wrapped its arms around Cameron's legs. "I swear this kid must be psychic," he muttered although there was no mistaking the twinkle in his eyes.

Alexis laughed as Cameron swung his granddaughter high in the air and she squealed in delight.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart!"

"Thank you, grandpa!" She pressed a kiss to his bearded cheek before demanding, "What did you bring me?"

"Hey guys." Alexis turned from the joyous scene to see a frazzled Zander smiling at them.

"Hello, sweetie," Alexis pressed a kiss to his cheek before stepping inside. Gathered in her former Penthouse was a motley crew of close friends and family of the Morgans and Lewis's. She felt a little sadness that the only person under the age of twenty was LuLu Spencer, who was almost fifteen she but, considering who Joanna's stepfather was and where the party was being held, she hadn't expected to see many children. She thought back to earlier in the day when Elizabeth had seemed desperate to confirm that she was coming. Now she knew why - no doubt there'd been plenty of cancellations; if people had had the decency to call that is. If only Kristina didn't have a cold - the two girls, despite the age difference, were close.

Alexis spotted a mountain of birthday presents under the stairs and smirked. Despite the lack of companionship, Joey certainly wouldn't be lacking for presents.

Her eyes surveyed the group again - Monica and Reginald were seated by Lila and Audrey, Jason and Bobby were talking with them; LuLu was chatting with Elizabeth; Luke was busy telling a joke to Lucky and Sonny's guards. Against her will, her eyes sought out the dark-haired man. He was talking to Justus outside the kitchen. His eyes lifted and for the barest moments she held his gaze until Joey caught her attention.

"Hey, Auntie 'Lexis."

"Hello, sweetie." She bent and kissed the little girl's smooth cheek. "Happy birthday," she said, handing over her present.

"Thank you." Joanna frowned a little. "Where's Krissy?"

"Krissy still has a cold. You wouldn't want to catch her germs now, would you?"

For a few seconds Joey looked heartbroken. No doubt she'd been counting on Kristina's presence as the only friend her age. She smiled softly after a while.

Alexis couldn't have resisted even if she tried. "Tell you what. If Krissy's feeling better tomorrow, I'll ask your Mama if I can take you two to the park and we'll have another party for just the two of you."

"Ok!" Joanna smiled again and darted away towards her mother.

Cameron, who'd come up behind her midway through their conversation, touched her shoulder lightly. She turned and smiled. "That was a very nice thing you did there," he said lightly, watching his granddaughter as she flitted about the room.

"I take it you noticed the same thing about this party as I did," Alexis said knowingly.

Before he got a chance to reply, Justus interrupted. "Alexis. Sorry to interrupt," he said, sounding not the _least_ bit apologetic. "May I have a few moments of your time?" he asked pointedly.

Cameron barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing this was Justus-speak for _'Get lost.'_ "I better go say hello to Elizabeth."

Justus watched Cameron retreat across the living-room to greet Liz.

Alexis arched a brow at the other man. It wasn't a secret between the three that Justus, despite all the good doctor's reliability, didn't approve of Cameron Lewis's relationship with Alexis. "Sometimes, you can be _such_ a Quartermaine," Alexis muttered dryly.

Justus flashed a grin. "It serves its purpose now and then. But seriously, Alexis, I need to talk to you about something."

"_Here_?" she asked pointedly, indicating the room, covered in balloons and various party paraphernalia.

"Point taken. Lunch tomorrow at the Grille?"

Alexis frowned, remembering her promise to Joey. "Tentative plans."

A shutter darkened Justus's eyes for a second. "Dinner then?"

"Once you're paying."

"I always do, don't I?" he continued with a knowing laugh.

Inwardly, Alexis blushed; outside, she was business as usual, but she knew Justus knew what she was thinking about because of the devilish twinkle in his dark-brown eyes.

From his vantage point, Cameron tried to focus on what Elizabeth was saying but his focus was on Alexis. Inwardly, he was having a struggle with himself. If you were watching your girlfriend conversing with her ex-lover, a man just five years older than your own son, you should be seeing red with jealousy, right?

Alexis threw her head back and laughed at something the man said, baring her swan-like throat. As her laughter reached his ears, he felt nothing.

Cameron grit his teeth - they were in trouble....

X-X-X-X-X

Birthday parties were absolute torture for him, but he would sooner have chewed off his right arm than miss Joey's.

Joanna was a joy; she brought a bittersweet smile to his face every time she called him, "Unca Sonny"; he lived for those words and for that smile.

He wondered what kind of kid Morgan had grown to be; he wondered if Michael was still a smart-aleck. He'd found Carly and their children three years ago but he'd honoured his promise and not intervened. Leticia, who sent pictures occasionally, regaled him about the boys' escapades once a month.

Well, he couldn't spoil his own children; he'd spoil Joey instead.

At present, he was listening to his lawyer but he didn't need to hear the delighted squeal of "Grandpa!" to know Cameron Lewis and Alexis Davis had arrived. Maybe it was because his nose had inadvertently twitched at the subtle scent of gardenias that reached his senses that were still cursedly tuned where she was concerned. The knowing male in him recognised that same sense of awareness in Justus's eyes. The lawyer actually faltered in mid-sentence and his gaze was pinned on her, before he caught himself and continued.

Inwardly, a silky black brow rose but he continued to listen. His eyes started to wander and they eventually lifted and caught hers. For the smallest moments two pairs of dark eyes were riveted to each other. There was none of the anger or indifference that had coloured their gazes in recent years. The staring might have continued for longer if Joanna hadn't stolen her attention.

_Stolen?_

Since when had he become possessive of Alexis Davis's attention again?

Through narrowed eyes, he watched Justus wrap up their conversation in record time and interrupt Cameron and Alexis. He recognised the subtlety of their relationship, how they seemed in tune with one another, on more than just a _friendly_ level. He recognised that look in Alexis's eyes. The look she used to give _him_ was now being given to _Justus_.

_When_ had he become possessive of her attention?

As of _now_, apparently.

TBC...

A/N: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

PLEASE READ A/N!

A/N: Just when I thought I had it all figured out and had resigned myself to writing a pro-Carson story, I get emails from readers begging me _not _to write a pro-Carson storyline. So, what's a gal to do, huh? I'll tell you what… _you_ the readers have all the power – _you_ will decide if Sonny and Carly should have a little romance or not. It will be based on reviews/comments from you, so please include your preference. As I hail from a peaceful democratic nation, the preference with the most votes will be written. Power to the people; hit that little blue button and make your comment worthwhile. Read and enjoy!

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CHAPTER 4

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Port Charles, July 2008, PH 2

When a man is told he's about to be a father, there are certain socially acceptable responses:

a.) He is filled with delirious joy

b.) He is stunned into silence, before being filled with delirious joy

c.) He is angry, which then gives in to delirious joy

Jason never claimed to want or need social acceptance but he was filled with the shock, the delirious joy and _then_ some as he swooped up his wife's body and took her mouth with his in the most reverent of kisses. What he had proceeded to do had been anything _but_ reverent but, even then, he'd tried to be careful to protect the baby, a concept that was as damn near impossible as trying to get molasses to flow uphill when Elizabeth forced him on his back and started to ride him.

When the sweat had dried from their bodies and their breathing had calmed and deepened, Jason rolled them to their sides and tucked Elizabeth to his chest and kissed her hair as she drifted off to sleep. He'd been filled with a slue of emotions too difficult for his brain to sort through. He was filled with a sense of excess energy, he couldn't stay in bed and, as much as he hated to, he gently extricated himself from his wife, careful not to disturb her, got out of bed and hurriedly dressed.

He was going to be a father!

He needed to talk to someone.

X-X-X-X-X

General Hospital

It was two a.m. and Monica Quartermaine was exhausted. She'd slipped out of Joanna's party around eight, just after when the cake was cut and she'd had to go on call from nine... till yes, nine the next morning. Twelve-hour shifts were brutal; twelve-hour _graveyard_ shifts were torture because there was usually only one senior doctor on call so she needed to respond to every page. She'd just come back from a Code Blue on the pediatric ward; the boy was stabilised for the moment, but she had a feeling he might crash more than once before morning.

Monica pushed open the door to her dark office, hoping to catch a few moments of sleep before she did her rounds. Imagine her surprise when, as she closed the door, the lamp on her desk snapped on, illuminating the handsome face of her younger son. "_Jason_!" she started, her hand flying to her chest. "Don't _do_ that!" she said. "You just took ten valuable years from my life."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Monica smiled. Sometimes, Jason really didn't know how to handle a joke. "I'm just pulling your leg." She frowned now in concern. "It's after two, Jason," she pointed out to her son. She went to her desk and sat down on it since he was occupied in the leather chair behind it. "Is something wrong?"

Jason looked at this woman who'd given birth to and lost one son and who had tried so hard to get to know _this_ son. It had taken some time but he'd finally begun to trust Monica Quartermaine. He might not be able to call her 'Mom'... yet, but he found that he could talk to her in a way that he couldn't talk to Emily or Lila or Sonny or even _Elizabeth_. He took her hand in his, smiling at the pleasure she took from having her son simply take her hand.

"I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm going to be a father."

A beatific smile spread across Monica's face and she practically leapt across the table and folded Jason in her arms. "Oh, Jason, I'm so _happy_ for you!" Jason smiled as she gripped him by the shoulders. "Are you certain?"

"Well, Elizabeth is."

The smile widened. "You've no idea how long I've waited for you to tell me this. 'I'm going to be a father.'" she repeated those words like they were the directions to the Holy Grail. After a few seconds passed she cocked knowing blue eyes at her son and deduced shrewdly, "You didn't leave your beautiful wife in bed at two o'clock in the morning just to tell me she's pregnant, did you?"

Sometimes he wondered if she was psychic. On the rare occasions now when she stated her motherhood she simply said it was, "Mother's intuition". Emily had teased Elizabeth about it countless times before and Monica's was in full gear now. His blue eyes found his mother's, "No."

With the patience she'd learnt to adopt where her very skittish son was concerned, Monica kept silent and waited.

"I'm confused...."

"_Confused_?"

"I'm happy, of course, but I've got all these other feelings running around inside of me. I mean, a twelve-year old man is going to be a _father_!" Jason heaved a sigh and looked at Monica. "How do you think he would've reacted? Jason _Q_ I mean."

As with every mention of the lost son's name, Monica's mouth tightened. The eyes, which Jason had inherited, misted over, but she answered the son she'd gained truthfully. "Jason Quartermaine was a _boy_. Of course, according to the law, he was twenty, he was an adult, but he was so achingly naive; he believed in the best of everyone. He would have done his duty; he would've been a good father, as good a father he could be considering he was a child himself.

"You'll be a _wonderful_ father, Jason," she reassured him. "You already are," she pointed out. "Look at how wonderful Joanna is." She stroked her son's spiky blonde hair and smiled. "You might be remembering a little bit of Jason _Quartermaine_ but, as you've told me countless times before, you're not Jason Quartermaine, you're Jason _Morgan_. You're a _man_; don't think about what kind of father a _boy_ would've been."

He knew her words made sense but then, he thought back to yesterday before Joanna's birthday party and how all the children had cancelled. "I _am_ Jason Morgan..." he looked his mother in the eye, "but for the first time yesterday, I regretted that I wasn't Jason _Quartermaine_ when I saw my wife cry because our daughter's birthday was ruined because no one wanted their child to go to a party hosted by a _Mob_ _Enforcer_!"

Monica didn't flinch when he talked about his job anymore. He was who he was; they couldn't change that.

"They wouldn't have broken that little girl's heart if I'd been a Quartermaine," he said softly.

"How do you know that, huh?" she asked her son.

"I know..." as much as it pained him to, he continued, "the Quartermaine name is respected." Monica snorted. "They _wouldn't_ have broken her heart," he repeated.

Monica frowned. "I think you give your step-daughter too little credit, Jason Morgan. You can't change what people think. People respect the Quartermaine name and we all know we're a bunch of loonies." Jason smiled and she smiled with him. "I never took you for one to care what people thought, Jason."

"I don't. But it doesn't just concern me now, does it? It's about Elizabeth and Joanna and now this baby."

She cupped her son's face in her hands and bade he look up at her. "You can't change what people think, Jason. They'll believe whatever they want. Don't change who you are to please other people... that's something a Quartermaine would do and you're not a Quartermaine." She pressed a gentle kiss to her son's brow. "Embrace who you are, Jason Morgan. Everyone else can go to hell."

Jason closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness of this woman and the calm that she instilled in him now. "Thank you, Monica."

"No, thank _you_. Now go home to that wife of yours."

He nodded and stood up. "What time do you get off?"

"Nine."

"Could we have lunch together with Grandmother?"

"Of course." She relished it when he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and let himself out of the office. Still staring at the spot where his body had made an indentation in the leather she smiled: This time she would get the chance to actually be a grandmother.

She closed her eyes and sat back in the chair.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The infernal thing on her hip started beeping even louder just as the page went up, _"Paging Dr. Monica Quartermaine! Code Blue on pediatric ward!"_

Monica groaned but pulled herself out of the chair and pushed her weary muscles to make it to the elevator. No rest for the weary grandmother apparently.

X-X-X-X-X

Wyndemere

"So, how was the party?" Nikolas Cassidine asked.

Back in PH2 Elizabeth poured milk in her tea and stirred gently. "It was great; Joanna had a wonderful time." And she had, despite no children being around - she'd relished in the attention the adults had showered on her.

"I'm sorry we couldn't make it. The flights out from Beantown were all delayed and we didn't get in 'til four this morning."

"_Four_? Wow, you two must be _exhausted_."

"That's putting it mildly. Gia's dead to the world."

"How come _you_ aren't in bed?" asked Elizabeth blowing lightly into the mug so that she wouldn't burn her tongue when she took the first sip.

"I slept on the plane. _And_ in the airport." Nikolas grinned when he thought back to how Gia had teased him mercilessly that he'd drooled on her shoulder. He was climbing the stairs and padding down the hallway to his bedroom.

Elizabeth giggled. "I guess the old adage about royalty and their sleeping habits isn't true 'cause, for a prince, you could sleep through being whirled around in a _tornado_."

"Very funny," Nikolas rolled his eyes. "Listen, when G rises from her crypt, we'll come over and give Joey her presents."

"I heard that," came a muffled voice from under a mountain of blankets.

"_Ohhh_, somebody's in trouble," she giggled. "Your aunt took Joey and Krissy to the park for the day, so gift-giving'll have to wait 'til tomorrow... providing Gia doesn't _kill_ you today," Elizabeth joked.

"_Goodbye_, Elizabeth." Nikolas terminated the call and padded over to the bed. Kneeling beside it, he pulled the sheets slightly back, uncovering its occupant's face. Her eyes were still shut, but her breathing was shallower and from the sarcastic comment she'd hurled, he knew she was awake. Knowing she couldn't prolong it any longer, Gia opened her eyes and, as usual whenever she looked at her prince, her heart started racing.

Nikolas smiled gently and leaned forward, kissing her lightly but lingeringly before reluctantly pulling away. Gia licked her full lips and sighed. "Good morning," she said softly.

"Good morning." Nikolas gently pushed the hair back from her face and stroked her cheek.

Gia smothered a yawn and, looking out the window asked, "Is it still early?"

Nikolas glanced at his watch, "It's just after eight."

Gia's smile was slow and devilish. "Feel like coming back to bed?"

Knowing what she had on under the sheets... or _didn't_ have on, Nikolas grinned and ripped back the sheets.

Gia giggled as Nikolas pressed kisses along the ticklish spot on her neck, "I _know_... stupid question!" The giggle dissolved into a moan when his hand slid up her thigh and brought her closer.

_Good God_, she liked stupid questions.

X-X-X-X-X

PH2

Jason padded down the stairs; he'd woken up alone but he was hoping to find Elizabeth in the kitchen. Sure enough, she was seated at the breakfast table sipping her tea and sifting through the morning paper.

"Morning," he said, pressing a soft lingering kiss to her mouth and a light hand to her stomach.

Liz smiled at her husband's antics. "Morning."

Jason went over to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee - Elizabeth hated the stuff, but old habits died hard and there was always seemingly an endless supply of fresh ground coffee in the Morgan household.

Elizabeth sipped her tea and nibbled her dry toast, trying to settle her stomach, actions she'd been hiding from Jason for the past month since she'd realised she was pregnant. She cocked a knowing eye at her husband. "Where'd you go last night?"

"What?" confusion furrowed Jason's brow as he leaned against the counter and sipped his coffee, looking at his wife.

"After I told you... I woke up and you were gone," she said pointedly.

Inwardly, Jason grit his teeth. He hadn't expected her to wake up; he didn't want her to know about the confusion that had plagued him; he didn't want to lie to her, either. "I needed to get some things off my chest... I went to see Monica."

Every visit with his mother filled Elizabeth with an emotion she couldn't quite name. She was in love with one man, but married to two. She supported him wholeheartedly in trying to come to terms with his unique standing but sometimes it was difficult. "Oh?" she said nonchalantly.

"I told her... I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, she's your mot--" She started to say 'mother' but broke off. He was still coming to terms with the fact that he had family outside the Corinthos' and Spencers.

"You don't have to watch your mouth, Elizabeth."

She knew she didn't, but the concept was still hard to grasp; after all, the Jason Morgan she'd known would have chewed off his own foot than willingly talk to a Quartermaine outside of Lila and Emily.

Jason set his cup on the counter and knelt by Elizabeth's chair. Her sapphire blue eyes were clouded with confusion. "I'm sorry."

Liz stroked his hair. "What for?" she asked. His silence told her everything she needed to know; times like these were what made it so difficult to be married to two men. She heaved a sigh and cupped his cheek. "I wish you would talk to me about it sometimes."

Jason looked away.

"I _love_ you... that's all that matters, Jas."

"They made you _cry_, Elizabeth," he said softly.

Liz smiled softly. "Blame it on the hormones."

"_Liz-_"

Before he could say anything, they heard footsteps bounding down the stairs and they knew Joanna had rejoined the land of the living. Jason stepped back from his wife and both of them schooled their features into a sea of smiles as she practically skidded around the corner into the kitchen. "Mornin', Mama!" she greeted. "Jason," she rushed to him and he lifted her up to the counter where she bestowed upon him her daily Eskimo kiss.

"Mornin', Joey," Jason said softly, smiling as she hugged him.

Elizabeth smiled at the sight. Because of his job, people's perceptions might always be a bother but, looking at him now, her husband was a damned good father; so _what_ if a few ignorant short-sighted housewives had made her shed a few tears?

"Can I have Cheerios for breakfast?" Joanna was asking her stepfather as her short legs dangled over the counter.

"Sure thing."

Yup, it most definitely was the hormones that had made her cry, those housewives could go to hell.

"Mama?"

Elizabeth turned to her daughter who had crawled into her chair just as Jason set her plastic cereal bowl and spoon before her. "Yes, sweetie?"

"Don't forget I'm going to th' park wi' Krissy an' Aunt 'Lexis."

"Of course not. She called this morning and she said she'd come for you around ten."

"Is it ten _now_?" she asked.

Jason smiled as he poured her cereal and milk. "It's ten when that long hand reaches that number," he said pointing to his watch.

"Is it ten _now_?" she asked, when the seconds' hand ticked past the Roman numeral for ten.

"No, sweetie. Eat your breakfast; you'll know when it's ten when I tell you," Elizabeth said.

"You pwomise?"

"Of course."

"I gotta go," Jason announced, draining his coffee cup.

"But you didn't eat breakfast," Elizabeth frowned.

"I'll grab something from Kelly's on my way to the warehouse." He pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek and Joey's forehead. "See you later."

"Bye, Jason," Joey called as he hurried from the kitchen.

They heard the front door close and Joanna shoveled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, whilst looking up at the kitchen clock. The second hand ticked past the number 10. "Is it ten _now_?"

Liz rolled her eyes. "_No_, sweetie."

X-X-X-X-X

"I'm thinking of selling Wyndemere."

The statement was so random that Gia's mouth fell open. "_Seriously_?" she asked, turning to her boyfriend.

He took his eyes off the road for a moment and looked at her. "Yeah," he said softly.

"But, you _love_ that house, Nikolas," she pointed out, gently.

"I do... but it's so _impractical_," he spoke the word like it was nasty and awkward on his tongue. "I can't afford the upkeep of it, and we _could_ use the money," he replied logically.

"It hadn't mattered before, Nik." She knew that finances had been hard on him but he hadn't had to sell the house. If she only knew....

"I _want_ to, Gia. I could invest some of the money, put the rest in the bank...."

Inwardly, Gia smiled. Who would have thought? She was proud of this purse-pinching Nikolas. But she was still concerned. He was very attached to that house; it was more than a house - despite all the bad memories that had happened within those walls, he had quite a few good ones as well. "Are you sure...?"

"I am. It's more practical. We live in Boston, anyways. We could save up and buy a decent apartment there, and probably rent the cottage from Jax whenever we come back here."

There was the practicality again. "Who're you trying to convince of this being a good idea? _Me_ or _yourself_?"

Nikolas smiled sheepishly. "_Both_.... Wyndemere will become more of a liability than an asset if we keep it," he said, his mind thinking of the fading grandeur and half-empty rooms.

"Don't act so hastily, Nikolas. I mean, I'm finished with law school and I'm starting my new job in the fall. You'll be finished with your MBA this time next year. I'll be making enough to support us until then... we can wing it, Nik, and you'll _still_ get to keep your home," Gia said softly.

The old Nikolas would have balked at the idea of having his girlfriend support him, but he was a changed man. He couldn't afford to be misogynic.

"_Promise_ you'll wait for a while?"

Thinking about the state of his finances, he was a little hesitant, but he looked into her earnest brown eyes. "A while."

"_Good_."

Nikolas turned off the road and into the parking lot of Kelly's. It was half-filled with the cars of persons no doubt grabbing a late breakfast like them. He chivalrously opened the door for her and Gia thanked him with that smile that turned his insides to jelly and they made their way hand in hand towards the diner.

Gia was struck with a sense of how much she'd missed Port Charles. New York City was her hometown and she'd always feel the hum in her veins, Boston was a wonderful city and she still relished in the shock of everyone there that _she_, a former supermodel and Face of Deception, had gone to _Harvard_ Law School on full scholarship, but it didn't have the same quaint qualities of this small little town. _Or_ a certain gorgeous brown-eyed Prince, she thought with a smirk.

She was so lucky to have found him again, she thought as she watched him. He was so beautiful and she thought of all they'd had to go through to get to where they were. She was thinking, life couldn't get any better than this when Nikolas opened the door to the diner.

_Obviously_, she'd spoken too soon.

Time stood still as their eyes met. _No_, her mind cried. For some reason her mind flashed back to the first episode of 'Dead Like Me' when the main character George was about to be beaned by a flaming toilet-seat. It was like that, except the 'Oh, _shit_!' reverberating in her mind was not the least bit funny.

For the first time in more than four years, she was face to face with _Ms. Emily Bowen-Quartermaine._

TBC...

A/N: Well, what did you think? Hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to drop me a line with your comments as well as your preference (if you even care) – Carson or not. To one of my readers: liasonfan1, there was no mention of Liz's pregnancy in previous chapters because I'm trying to make this an ensemble fic, so I'll be focusing on a variety of characters/pairings, not just Liason. By the way, what is TC? Tell me more, please.

Cara


	5. Chapter 5

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

PLEASE READ A/N!

A/N: I'm sorry… well, depends on which side of the fence you sit, that the pleas _not_ to have Carson romance have won our little vote (Yay!). However, I will be sympathetic to the train wreck that was the many marriages of Sonny and Carly, so Carson fans, don't fear. However, I won't be shoving it down your throats. Onto another topic, to answer the question of one reader who was curious about the relationship between Sonny and Alexis, as to whether they were a couple or not. The answer is: no, they were not a couple per se. Alexis used to be Sonny's attorney and his close friend (_best _friend I like to think) and actually it was _Alexis_ who encouraged Sonny to marry Carly the first time to prevent her from testifying against him in court. Things soured between them after they took their friendship to another level, Carly drove herself over a cliff and the war between Sonny and Luis Alcazar ended up with Alexis's sister Kristina being caught in an explosion when she went to his warehouse to tell Sonny the truth about baby Kristina's paternity. _Comprende_? Any more questions or comments, drop me a line. Enjoy! BTW: Big kiss to **Caraluna **for her glowing review of chapter 4 – you had me blushin' girl!

X-X-X-X-X

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CHAPTER 5

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Alexis felt like she was a dog walker with twenty rowdy dogs on a leash. Instead, she was getting a lesson in dexterity, holding a large picnic basket over her shoulder whilst being practically dragged to a grassy spot beneath the shady trees with a plain view of the kid's playground by two dark-haired little girls who were practically chomping at the bit to get their private party started. She laughed as Joanna tugged her under the tree and Kristina tugged her other hand almost making her lose her balance and fall on her butt to the leafy ground. "Wait a sec," she admonished. Taking a blanket from the basket, she spread it out quickly, one cursory eye keeping an eye out for ants' nests, before she continued, "_Now_ we can sit." The two girls simultaneously tugged on her hands and within seconds, her butt indeed did hit the blanket and all three giggled as they flopped back and looked up at the cerulean sky through the green leaves of the tree. Alexis locked her arms around both little girls' shoulders and hugged them close to her.

"Aunt 'Lexis," Joey said softly, rolling to her side and smiling down into that beloved face. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Makin' me feel better."

Alexis instantly knew what she meant, and she tucked a lock of dark hair, so much like her own daughter's, behind Joey's ear. "I bet you'll feel better when you see what you've got for this party."

"What?" an ear-to-ear grin split her face.

Kristina sat up, her own grin bringing two deep dimples into play. "It's a surprise! C'mon, Joey," she said, grabbing her friend's hand and standing up. "Let's go to the swings!"

Alexis sat up. "Be careful!" she called out as the two girls raced towards the swing sets, their sable hair - Joey's impossibly curly and Kristina's wavy - flying behind them. She'd more than done her good deed for the day.

It happened every time he passed the park. He paused to hear the joyful sounds of children at play, hearing their childish shrieks of laughter, the smell of candy, the mindful eyes of the parents and their cautious warnings. Each time, he was filled with a sense of longing and his heart broke for the children he might never see in person again.

Something caught the corner of his eye and he turned to see a woman being dragged under a tree by two dark-haired little girls. The corners of his lips tipped up in a smile as they tugged her off her feet to a hastily spread blanket on the leafy ground. In the split second before the three collapsed in giggles, he recognised none other than Joanna Lewis and Alexis Davis. The other companion he recognised as Alexis's little girl, _Kristina_.

The little girl he'd once thought and hoped was his....

As was the case whenever he came into contact with or saw her, he studied her. The dappled sunlight shining through the trees glinted off her luxuriously rich dark hair; her skin was a smooth olive tone and he didn't have to venture closer to know her eyes were the soft dark brown of a Hershey's Kiss - like her mother's.... He also didn't have to go any closer to know that when she smiled, two impossibly deep dimples suddenly appeared in the apples of her rosy cheeks. She was a beautiful little girl - even more beautiful to him than his own beloved Joey.

Sonny's eyes followed the two little girls as they stood up and barreled towards the swings, their hair flying behind them, their laughter floating towards his ears on the balmy summer breeze.

_Oh_, how his heart ached.

Morgan would be turning five at the end of the year. He knew that he would probably have been great friends with Joey at least, despite the usual apathy towards the opposite sex at that age. Michael would have taken his duty as big brother seriously and taken them all under his wing. He missed his children terribly.

Inadvertently, his gaze swung back to the trees to Alexis and, for the second time in as many days, he found himself observing her. Her chestnut hair had been pulled up into a ponytail, making her look for all the world like a college co-ed instead of a high-priced lawyer. Her skin was still the same golden tone, standing out sharply against the lily-white of her dress shirt that was about a size too big and rolled up to her elbows over a coral tank top. She was wearing a pair of faded Levi's that molded to each feminine curve and made her already long legs seem impossibly longer and on her feet, she wore a pair of flat brown leather slides. She sat with her back to the tree, designer sunglasses perched on her nose, her watchful eyes no doubt on the two children.

Sonny didn't think he'd ever seen Alexis so relaxed. Even during their short interlude in Puerto Rico so long ago, although she'd literally let down her hair and her newfound fondness for rum had loosened her tongue and her hips, she'd still been taut with the sexual tension between them.

Even in his bed months later... _under him, over him, beside him_.... It suited her.

As if feeling that she was being watched, as he had the night before, she turned to him and he imagined - he couldn't be sure because the lenses were impossibly dark - that her eyes met his. Much like the night before, he was filled with an emotion he didn't _dare_ try to analyse or put a name to. Instead, he simply nodded curtly and continued on his way, Johnny a step behind him.

X-X-X-X-X

Catching sight of Sonny made Alexis nervous as hell. She breathed a sigh of relief when he simply acknowledged her and walked on. Johnny was much more polite - the guard had given her a small, friendly smile. As she watched them walk away, heading no doubt for the warehouse, she wondered how long he'd been there. Had he been watching them, or had he simply caught sight of her as he walked by? She prayed it was the latter although, with her luck, the former was the more likely of scenarios. No doubt he'd seen Joey and, of _course_, Kristina.

That made her decidedly antsy. She didn't like her daughter to be in any contact with her sire, especially since she looked like him more and more each day and was growing decidedly more curious each and every day. Kristina was at that age where she realised that her home life wasn't quite like other children's. Even though Joey's was a little unorthodox, it certainly was a lot more _'normal'_ than Kristina's had ever been. Alexis had felt like a deer caught in the headlights the first time Kristina had asked about her father. _She_ - the verbal master - had been at a loss for words, literally _tongue-tied_. She hadn't a _clue _what to tell her.

So, she'd fudged and fluffed and just barely managed to fumble her way through a pitiful jumble of words that she'd masqueraded as an explanation.

She'd grudgingly described him to her... ironically enough, both physical and emotional descriptions could have matched Ned - the man the general public knew as Kristina's father, although he'd given up his parental rights five years before - and Sonny - Kristina's biological father - the man Alexis had gone to so much trouble to ensure would never know the truth.

But there would come a time when Kristina might not be quite so easy-going or understanding. There might come a time where she would choose to ignore the obvious distress the matter caused her mother and decide to seek out her father. Then the whole spiral of lies would begin anew and Alexis would _really_ be up shit-creek without a paddle.

For now...(sigh) she would bask in the ignorance of youth and do what she'd been doing since finding out she was pregnant with Sonny's child - stay far, _far _away.

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, March 2004

The penthouse was eerily quiet when Emily woke the next morning. A quick inspection of the spacious rooms confirmed her suspicion that she was indeed alone. Taking a leisurely shower before dressing, she made her way to Jason's kitchen and wasn't too surprised to find the sum total of the contents in her brother's refrigerator equaled three cans of Budweiser, a half-eaten Snickers bar and a bottle of milk that was way beyond its expiry date.

Resigned to having to go out for breakfast, Emily had just swung open the door to the apartment when Max seemed to appear out of thin air.

"Good morning, Ms. Quartermaine," he said politely.

Placing a hand to her racing heart Emily replied, "Good morning..." her brow wrinkled as she tried to place his face, "Max?" she asked, not sure.

"Yes." Max stepped aside and allowed Emily to exit the apartment.

Making her way to the elevator, she realised that she was being followed. Emily turned around and looked in confusion at Max who paused in waiting. "Let me guess," she began knowingly. "My brother's idea?" Max smiled sheepishly and Emily barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was a good thing she wasn't planning to stick around PC much longer.

The drive towards the docks in one of the numerous black sedans available to her brother was quiet and uneventful and she grudgingly realised that Max faded into the scenery, his infinite politeness - opening doors for her etc. - the only reminder that he was there.

Elizabeth's smile was the first thing she saw when she stepped into the warmth of Kelly's and the delicious breakfast scents clearly emphasised the fact that she was starving.

"Mornin', Em," Elizabeth called, making her way over to her friend. "Hello, Max," she continued with a friendly smile.

"Ms. Webber," he replied politely. Without another word, he stationed himself at a table just behind Emily, where he could give her her privacy but still keep an eye on her.

"Let me guess... _Jason's_ idea?"

"Yup."

"Has he faded into the background yet?" Elizabeth continued knowingly.

"You know it."

The two friends shared a laugh before Elizabeth took her order and poured coffee for both Emily and Max. Things were going remarkably well considering the baggage and old wounds that had been reopened the day before.

She knew she had spoken too soon when the bell above the door jingled heartily and Nikolas stepped inside the diner. For a few indeterminable seconds they stared at each other, sorrow and pain in his eyes; she was afraid to give a name to what might be in hers.

Perhaps only a total of five more seconds passed before Nikolas's gaze dropped to his feet. He took a shuddering breath, struggling to inhale around the huge rock of despair that was lodged in his chest and turned his back on Emily and swallowing a lump of misery in his throat, made his way to the counter, not knowing that would be the last time he saw her.

Emily was surprised to see moisture dripping to her breakfast plate and lifted her hand to her face in wonder to realise that she was crying.

"Ms. Quartermaine, are you alright?"

Emily looked up to see Max had made his way to her table with remarkable haste and was gazing at her with an expression of concern as he held out a snowy white handkerchief to wipe her tears. She didn't know whether to nod or shake her head. But she certainly hadn't expected her newfound 'independence' to hurt so badly.

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, July 2008

"_Emily_!"

The surprise was highly evident in his voice as his eyes took her in for the first time in four years. They took those few precious seconds before she would reply to look at one another. He looked much like the old Nikolas, yet he'd changed in so many ways. There was a newfound air of maturity that was not simply echoed in his looks but also in the way he carried himself. The cloak of authority that he'd always exuded was still very much in existence and it suited him better now that he was a few years older than it had before.

She too had changed, she knew; she also knew that he was busy processing these changes. She'd lost a few more pounds over the years, and had a new haircut - a sleek chin length bob - to go with her new willowy form. For some unknown reason, part of her wondered if he liked the changes he noted.

Gia watched their silent appraisal with a growing sense of panic, and the seconds continued to stretch without any of them saying a word. The moment could not be any more awkward if she snapped her fingers to jerk them from their seeming reverie.

Emily seemed to catch herself in time to reply with an equally surprised "_Nikolas_!" (_read:- Gia's sigh of relief, 'Finally!', although the awkward situation was bound to increase in leaps and bounds._). Emily's gaze toggled back and forth between Nikolas and his companion. She'd changed as well - she was even more beautiful and exotic than ever if that was possible, with smooth cafe au lait skin, tilted brown eyes and a fiery aura that was all woman. "Gia."(_read:- obviously less enthusiastic greeting._)

Gia's smile was frosty. But better the blast back to the Ice Age that every bearer of two X-chromosomes understood than the obvious glare of petulance that even the most dimwitted of the male-species would have picked up on. And dim Nik was not. "Emily."

Inwardly, Emily arched a brow. Obviously, time had not changed _some_ things, a fact made all the more evident since, some where in between her departure from Port Charles and now, Nikolas had shacked back up with the ex-supermodel, a fact that Elizabeth had _failed_ to mention.

Eager to defuse an already awkward situation, Nik still couldn't help himself. She looked beautiful. A thought that, after all this time and all the heartache that they'd caused each other, he had absolutely _no_ right to be thinking. A thought that was a little ticking time bomb where Gia was concerned.

"This is a surprise," Emily said, in an attempt at breaking the ice. "It's been a long time."

"_I'll_ say," Gia cut in. (_read:- "Not long enough."_)

Nikolas coughed lamely. "Did you come for Joanna's birthday?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded her head slowly. "Did you?"

"Yes." Nik shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Oh. You missed the party," she pointed out.

"The flights from Boston were delayed," Gia explained hurriedly. (_read:- "Cut the small-talk and get lost."_)

"_Boston_?" Emily asked, surprised.

"Yes," Gia answered again. "We live there _together_." Emphasis on the 'together'.

"_Oh_." (_read:- "Someone's a bit possessive."_)

Before their conversation could go any further, Georgie Jones strode up to the threesome. She looked hot and harried and not in the mood for small talk. "Hi guys, it's _great_ that you're catching up and all, but it's _July_ and you're letting out what little air-conditioning there is."

Only then did Emily realise she was standing in the doorway of the diner and Nik was indeed holding the door open. The intimation of Georgie's statement basically was 'in or out, just shut the damn door!' and though left unsaid, was as conspicuous as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.

"Right, _sorry_, Georgie," Emily apologised for them all.

Nikolas pushed the door open further and they sidled past each other.

"So, I'll see you around?"

Gia barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes in disbelief at the hope in the other woman's voice.

"Sure," Nik replied, hoping it seemed nonchalant.

Emily smiled in acknowledgement and strode away.

Nikolas stood there and watched her walk away. Gia scoffed in displeasure and abruptly pushed past him into the diner. Her sudden actions startled Nik who turned to her questioningly. "_What_?"

Gia's eyes narrowed slightly. "Nothing," she muttered. (_read:- "As if you don't know I'd like to wring both your necks, you little shit!"_)

X-X-X-X-X

Corinthos/Morgan Coffee

Jason was downstairs in the main body of the warehouse conferring with their foreman about the impending delivery of a shipment of coffee beans from Brazil. Sonny sat upstairs at his desk in the office they still shared despite all the years. He stared unseeingly at the charts spread before him, his mind not the _least_ on financial projections or expense reports.

He was thinking of her.

And her daughter.

A _dangerous_ combination....

No matter how he tried to point out the folly of feeling anything but indifference or contempt towards Alexis Davis, the more his mind seemed determined to ignore him, to replay vivid images of the scent of gardenias, that hitch she made in the back of her throat when he stroked her cheek, the carefree laugh that erupted when he joked with her... the hopeless devotion and fierce love she held for her daughter... a love that had driven her to kill the man that had already taken so much from her. Not that he wouldn't have done the same.

In those few moments of quiet, he used the time for reflection.

Reflected on how he'd been a coward, how he'd allowed her to push him away so easily... how it fired his ego to think that, despite their differences, she had come to him to help her battle Luis Alcazar. How it further fueled said ego to turn her away because it had been bruised when she'd seemingly run straight from his bed back to Ned so many months before.

If none of those things had happened, maybe Kristina would be calling _him_ Papa.

And Morgan would never have existed, a voice in the back of his mind pointed out.

_Morgan_.

His biological son. A boy he hadn't seen in person since he'd been a few months old, a boy who probably would pass him on the street without so much as batting an eyelash in recognition.

Sonny grit his teeth and rubbed the fatigue from his eyes. _Damn it_! He _knew_ better than to walk through the park!

The sounds of children and their carefree happiness always made him remember what he'd had and would, most likely, _never_ have again.

Footsteps and a brisk knock.

Sonny swiveled in his chair to see Jason leaning his head around the corner at the door. "I'm out to the Q's for lunch with Grandmother and Monica."

Sonny plastered a smile on his face. "Say hello to Lila for me, Jason. And bring back some of those little tea sandwiches," he teased.

Jason rolled his eyes. Sonny would never let him forget the time his Grandmother had suckered him into attending a full English afternoon tea, complete with silver tea service, delicate teacakes, scones and cucumber sandwiches. "Whatever." Jason rudely saluted in reply by flipping the bird and turned to head back down the stairs.

The minute his friend's footsteps down the staircase faded away, the smile dropped from his face and his head dropped back. Sonny stared up at the ceiling and proceeded to count down the minutes until he could go home and hope for his day to get progressively better.

X-X-X-X-X

Portland, Oregon

Portland was the latest in a long list of cities they'd occupied in the past several years. It was an architecturally gorgeous city with its many bridges and homes along the river and awe inspiring rose gardens. While it certainly didn't have that panache when compared to Paris or Rome, London or Toronto, its laidback Northwestern charm was refreshing and for now, it was home. They'd been running in a sense... not to the point when they were concerned for their well-being and needed to disappear in some hovel in the middle of small-town America.

Certainly _not_.

And, brain-damaged or not, small-town America certainly did _not_ appeal to Mrs. Caroline 'Carly' Spencer-Corinthos.

They were there for two reasons: one, because New York City was much too close to Port Charles for comfort and two, because Portland, while certainly no New York, possessed one of the country's finest hospitals specialising in oncology.

A fact that, when finally revealed to her, made Leticia's blood run cold.

She had the house to herself that morning. For once, in what had certainly been years of devoted service, Carly took her own sons to the park... _alone_, leaving Leticia in peace to go over the bombshell that had been dropped on her.

As she sifted through the wreckage that was her psyche, everything fell into place - little occurrences, cryptic conversations... it all made complete sense.

She'd awoken that morning as usual in the past two months that they'd been there, at six o'clock. She usually lounged in bed until six-thirty at which time she'd get up, take a shower and dress in her work clothes - jeans and a T-shirt - before heading down the hallway to the boys' bedroom. By this time, it was probably just after seven o'clock and, as they were light sleepers, they would both crack open their eyes the second she pulled open the drapes at their windows. As they'd taken a shower right before they went to bed and had slept in air-conditioning, they didn't need to shower, instead, they talked and joked with her as she helped them dress then helped Morgan brush his teeth and harassed Michael into brushing his unruly red hair which had started to darken to a gorgeous shade of auburn and was a riot of curls on top his head.

It was usually eight o'clock by the time they'd finished, and they would march down the stairs, past the wall of windows that offered an awesome view of the Willamette River near the junction with the Columbia, into the kitchen where, more often than not, she'd pour them all a bowl of Count Chocula and they would have breakfast watching morning cartoons on the kitchen television. The boys would be spread out on the floor in front the TV in their play room by the time Carly strolled downstairs from the master bedroom around ten or so, still in her robe.

That morning, it was different. She'd gasped in surprise when she'd turned up on Carly poised outside the bedroom door watching Michael and Morgan sleep. Michael, as usual, had kicked the sheets away from his body and was lying flat on his back, one leg bent at the knee, the other outstretched, his head facing away from the door and his mouth slightly open. Morgan, on the other bed, was wrapped up tightly in a cocoon, his curly hair the colour of a crow's wing, the only visible thing.

"Mrs. C?" Leticia asked tentatively, watching the reflective look on her employer's face with curiosity.

Carly turned to her sluggishly and seemed surprised to see her standing there. "Leticia..." she trailed off and turned back to her sleeping sons.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Corinthos?"

Leticia should have been alerted when Carly seemed to pause as if contemplating the question. To her surprise and great unease, she watched the older woman's eyes begin to fill with tears. "No," Carly said, her face crumbling. "I'm _not_ alright."

In a move she never would have dared before, Leticia reached out and wrapped Carly in her arms, rocking her back and forth as she was prone to do whenever she comforted either or both of her charges. Tactfully, Leticia tucked Carly's head in her shoulder so her sobs were muffled and she angled her hand for the doorknob and shut the door so that they would not accidentally wake the boys.

After a few minutes, Carly finally lifted her head and stepped away. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping frantically at the remnants of tears that still slid down her cheeks.

"It's fine," Leticia said, her voice full of concern. She was more than curious to find out what had caused her boss to behave like this, but she wouldn't be disrespectful and pry. "Would you like some tea, Mrs. C?" she asked softly.

Carly shook her head vigorously. "No, I'm _fine_. You should wake up the boys."

Leticia bit her lip, her concern for Carly to speak up more important than the simple need to satisfy her curiosity. "Are you _sure_? They won't complain if we let them sleep a little longer."

The two women took stock of each other. Leticia had worked for this woman her entire adult life - more than ten years. In that time, she'd seen her in all moods of the psychological spectrum, but never like this. Carly took a deep breath before nodding her head in acquiesce and allowed Leticia to gently lead her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Carly sat at the breakfast bar while Leticia quickly and efficiently set the kettle to boil and when it did, made two cups of tea - Chamomile to calm Carly down and English Breakfast to perk her up. She'd made toast while the kettle boiled but, although she'd set it in front of Carly along with the tea, Carly ignored it.

"How old are you, Leticia?" Carly asked softly.

Leticia was taken aback but she tried not to show it. "Twenty-eight, Mrs. C."

Carly nodded and took a deep sip of her tea. When she next spoke, her voice was thick, "I'm thirty-four. Thirty-_five_ in four months, actually." She looked across to the woman that had always taken care of her children, who some people considered to be more of a mother figure to them than their actual mother. "How long have you worked for me?"

"Ten years," Leticia answered, not sure where this was all leading to.

"And you _never_ had the desire to leave, to do something else with your life, to fall in love and get married and have children of your own?" Carly asked, her tone slightly incredulous.

"Well," she began bashfully. "I've always enjoyed working with children and I love Michael and Morgan. As for falling in love and getting married... of _course_. I'm young... I still have time," she continued thoughtlessly.

Leticia's words brought a fresh crop of tears to Carly's eyes and she was instantly regretful, trying desperately to figure out what she had said wrong.

"Don't say that," Carly was mumbling. "Don't _ever_ say that! You _never_ know how much time you have."

"Mrs. C, _what_ are you talking about?"

Carly looked up, her dark eyes brimming with tears, filled with pain. There was a pregnant pause and when she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper. "I have pancreatic cancer and it's inoperable. I'm _dying_, Leticia."

Alone in the quiet house gave Leticia time to think. How must Carly feel knowing she would die so young, that she would never get to see her sons reach manhood; how would the boys deal without their mother? Leticia started to cry. How could she break this news to Mr. Corinthos?

TBC...

A/N: I didn't realise how long this chapter was. I hope that you enjoyed! Drop me a line or two.


	6. Chapter 6

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

A/N: I know it's been a while, as I've been a bit blocked for my other story, but I recognise that the fanbase for this story is a little different and you shouldn't have to suffer for my shortcoming. Thanks a bunch for the spectacular reviews this story has been getting. I'm happy to see you're enjoying it.

X-X-X-X-X

CHAPTER SIX

Port Charles, New York

The shrill ring of his cellphone broke the monotony of sifting through an expense report for Elizabeth's latest New York showing for Zander as he sat at the desk in his office at the gallery that they equally co-owned. He reached for it quickly and said, "Hello?" almost gratefully.

"Why didn't you tell me Emily Quartermaine was coming to town?" the person on the other line launched in immediately without the courtesy of a hello.

Zander's brow wrinkled as he tried to place the voice. "_Gia_?" he asked uncertainly.

"_Yes_," she huffed impatiently.

"Hey," Zander said with a smile, leaning back in his chair. "Where are you?"

Gia looked around irately. "I'm in the bathroom at Kelly's. Quit trying to change the subject. Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded again.

"_First_ of all, hello, Gia, nice to hear from you after so many weeks of absolutely _no_ correspondence; _secondly_, I didn't know that she was coming, she just showed up at the party."

"First of all, I didn't talk to you for those few weeks because I was buried in studying for the Bar exam, which I kicked _ass_ in, if I do say so myself. Secondly, _oh_," she huffed in annoyance.

"Did you see her?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Hmmm..."

"What's that '_hmmm_' for?" Gia asked. She was sitting on the toilet seat in one of the stalls, her cellphone clutched to her ear.

"Nothing."

"Don't do that, Z, it annoys the crap out of me."

"I'm just wondering why you're hiding out in the bathroom sneaking this phone call from your cell."

"I am _not_ sneaking," she replied indignantly.

"Hmmm..."

Gia said nothing and only confirmed his speculation that she was jealous.

"Why does she always make me feel this way?" Gia asked, her voice mildly dejected. "Like I'm some classless social-mountaineer who's not good enough to coexist in the same universe as she does," she explained, her voice filled with dejection. "I mean, I graduated fucking Harvard Law School magna cum laude and yet she, who never even finished freshman year at PCU, has me feeling lower than an _amoeba_."

"Well, now you know how I feel when Prince Charming's around," Zander answered quietly.

For a while, neither said anything. "We're a pair, aren't we?" Gia asked, smirking ruefully, after the pregnant pause.

"I guess." Gia sighed heavily over the phone. "Listen, G," Zander said softly, mindful of his friend's insecurity. "Don't get all bent out of shape. You're smart and beautiful and," he was loathe to do anything in Nik's favour, "Nikolas loves you. It'll be fine. She's only here for a few weeks... you'll be with Nikolas the rest of your life. After she's gone, this mini-meltdown in the john will be nothing but a distant memory..."

Gia smiled. "Thanks." She paused thoughtfully. "So, how did she look to you?"

"_Beautiful_," Zander said after a brief soul-searching pause.

Gia's eyes closed. She didn't like what she heard, but she'd been expecting it. "You're doomed," she said matter-of-factly.

"Hey."

Zander looked up to see none other than Emily leaning against the doorjamb. "I'll call you back." He flipped the phone closed before Gia could say anything more, leaving her staring at her phone in disbelief as the dial tone registered in her ears. Emily was smiling at him. "Hi," he replied.

X-X-X-X-X

Portland, Oregon

Carly sat on the bench in the park, keeping a mindful eye out for the two boys. Admittedly, this was the first time she'd truly been alone when she'd taken the boys to the park. Back in her old life in Port Charles, a guard, Leticia or some other person had usually been present. Now, it was her complete responsibility to be watchful... the feeling of independence was strangely exhilarating.

Knowing one's body is as important as say, knowing one's children. Looking at the joy on her children's faces as they played, Carly realised that she knew very little of either. In hindsight, she realised that her body had been trying to tell her something was wrong but, as with most things, she was unable to read the signs. When she'd finally decided to take things in hand, it was too late... far, _far_ too late.

Her cramping had been worst than ever recently. She'd relieved the pressure by taking Tylenol, an effort that failed miserably. Tylenol had proceeded to Advil then to Cataflam, which worked for a while but, two months later, she'd built up immunity to. Midol had been next on the list and, when that had stopped working a morning when she couldn't even get of bed, Midol and gin, Leticia's suggestion, a remedy she swore all the women in her family lived by. Three Midol, room-temperature gin, a hot water bottle and peace and quiet for a few hours... it worked for a while - she drank so much gin she passed out - but when next she woke, she had a serious bitch of a headache on top of the cramps.

At this time, they were living in San Francisco and, while the boys were out with Leticia, she'd taken herself to the hospital and, at a woman's clinic, made an appointment with a gynecologist. Dr. Tanya Jacobson was not what she'd expected at all - she was an absolutely gorgeous thirty-nine year old who'd graduated early from Harvard Medical School - but despite her youthful appearance she managed to instill a sense of security in Carly. After a brief explanation of her plights, the doctor had frowned thoughtfully before speaking, "Have you had an annual checkup, Carly?" she asked. "Pap smear and mammogram?"

"Yes," Carly nodded. She'd disciplined herself to this after her accident. She'd become slightly paranoid, hoping her amnesia or mild damage didn't put her at risk for any illnesses.

"Ok," Dr. Jacobson nodded. "It's possible you might have a condition known as endometriosis. Just to make sure, I'd like to schedule an abdominal and pelvic ultrasound."

"Endo - _what_?" asked Carly confused.

"_Endometriosis_," the doctor explained patiently. "It's a common cause of painful cramps - some of the lining from your uterus gets out of the uterus, into say your ovaries, and develops implants which can bleed into the abdominal cavity."

"Oh," Carly blanched. "Can this cause miscarriages?" she asked softly.

"Not exactly, because of the lack of lining in the uterus it mostly causes infertility because the fallopian tubes can become blocked. Have you had a miscarriage before?" she asked gently.

"Yeah... I fell," she explained, remembering when she'd lost Sonny's child when she'd fallen down the stairs whilst fighting with A.J Quartermaine.

"I'm sorry. But," she continued seriously, "some cases of endometriosis can be so terrible that a hysterectomy is necessary to save the woman's life."

Carly's eyes widened and a fear took hold of her heart. "Will it hurt? The _ultrasound_, I mean."

"No," Dr. Lawrence smiled encouragingly. "Nor does it take very long. I'll schedule an appointment for you at a radiology facility," she handed Carly a card. "Dr. Knight, is an excellent radiologist. She'll take good care of you."

Carly had been out of sorts the rest of the day - she hadn't told Leticia and the boys where she'd gone, not wanting to worry them - and she'd gone to her appointment two days later and returned home as though nothing had happened.

She'd continued to thank God that none of them were home that afternoon the telephone rang - she didn't think she'd have been able to act normally.

"Mrs. Corinthos, it's Miranda Knight. I have the results of your ultrasound."

"Dr. Knight," Carly said, her voice falsely bright. "So, doc, what's the diagnosis? Do I have endometri - whatever?" she asked, her voice deliberately light, almost flippant.

"No, there was no sign of it."

Carly's breath was full of relief. "Oh, that's wonderful. _Right_...?" she asked, when the Dr. Knight said nothing to share in her enthusiasm.

"There were some signs of an enlarged pancreas, Mrs. Corinthos," Dr. Knight said, feeling very much like a pin that had pricked a bubble.

"_Whoa_... what does that mean? I've never heard of your _pancreas_ causing cramps."

"Well... there's no connection," Dr. Knight began.

"I don't get it," Carly said, her temper beginning to show. "What's the point? What the hell is going on with my body?"

"I'd like you to come in for a CT, Mrs. Corinthos. It might also be prudent to do a biopsy as well."

"_Biopsy_?" her voice was breathless and, if she hadn't already been seated, she would have slipped to the floor in shock. "A biopsy on _what_?"

"Your pancreas."

Tears pricked the back of her lids, but she kept her voice level. "Why? I come in for cramps, next thing you want me to get a goddamned biopsy?" she was failing miserably at keeping her voice level, her fear causing her to lash out at the doctor.

"I can only tell you the results of your ultrasound, Mrs. Corinthos," Miranda Knight replied evenly, "and what I saw is reason for concern."

"It seems like a bunch of hot air. It's like you doctors get off on ordering test after test, which _I_ have to pay for. What if I don't go? What's gonna happen, you gonna call CDC on me?" she snarled sarcastically.

"Of course not, Mrs. Corinthos. Something is wrong with you, I can't know what for sure unless you have a CT. You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but I think you should discuss this with Dr. Jacobson before you make any rash decisions."

"Damn right, I will!" Carly slammed the phone down. "_Fucking doctors_!" she cursed, even as hot tears slid down her cheeks.

Five minutes later, when she'd deemed herself composed enough, she'd dialed the doctor's office. Tanya had endorsed Dr. Knight's suggestion and the next day, when she usually got her nails done, she'd gone back to the radiology clinic to have the CT and biopsy performed.

It was a few days later when, at dinnertime, the telephone rang. Leticia, who was in the kitchen scooping ice cream into bowls, answered it. "Corinthos residence."

"Good evening, this is Dr. Tanya Jacobson, is Mrs. Corinthos there?"

"Yes, one second, please," Leticia said with a mild frown. "Mrs. C," she called, "there's a Dr. Jacobson on the phone for you."

Carly bounded to her feet and grabbed the cordless phone, hurrying up the steps to her bedroom. Leticia frowned, finding her actions suspicious but, at the moaning of Michael and Morgan to hurry up with their dessert, she promptly forgot about it.

Upstairs in her room, Carly answered shakily. "Hello?"

"Carly, it's Dr. Jacobson. I've gone over the results of your CT and, I know you're not going to like it but, I'd like you to see another doctor."

"_Jesus Christ_!" Carly exploded.

"I understand you're upset -"

"You haven't a _clue_, doc," Carly interrupted. "What kind of doctor _now_, cause I tell ya, I'm all doctored up. Neurologists, gynecologists, radiologists - you name them, I've seen them."

"Dr. Landry is an _oncologist_."

She'd said the word that Carly had been dreading. The word that could be the only viable explanation as to why they couldn't find out exactly what was wrong. It scared her, but pissed her off even more.

"An oncologist... a fricking _cancer_ doctor for _cramps_? Now I _am_ convinced you're skinning me for my money! It's a _conspiracy_ - you're passing me out to every damn doctor in the city!"

Tanya allowed her patient to rant before interjecting. "You know that's not true, Carly, but, whether you like it or not, you need to see someone who knows more than I do. Julian Landry is one of the country's most respected doctors. I pulled a few strings, and managed to get you an appointment tomorrow morning at ten."

"_Tomorrow_ morning? That's awfully short notice, doc," Carly hedged, struggling desperately to get through the rest of the conversation.

"I know, but he's a busy man, Carly, so you're fortunate he could fit you in." Her voice softened, "I know the mere thought is overwhelming but you need to see him as soon as possible. He's a good man."

"I'm sure."

"Tomorrow."

"I heard you the _first_ time, doc." She set the phone on the hook, went into her bathroom and promptly lost her dinner.

Julian Landry was a surprise. At forty-six, he looked as though he belonged in the pages of a GQ magazine wearing an Armani suit instead of in a stark white lab-coat and worn blue jeans. Under any other circumstances, she might have flirted but, whilst he was attractive, she wasn't about to think of pursuing something with the man that could bear news that would wreck her life.

He'd kept her waiting and she'd gazed around his office uncomfortably. By the end of five minutes, she knew he'd gone to Medical School at Yale, liked some team called Arsenal and was a bit of a slob. She was counting his diplomas when he breezed into his office. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Mrs. Corinthos," he said, smiling professionally, his British intonation crisp. "We're a little short-staffed today and I was needed on a consultation."

Carly blinked, aware that she was staring but damn, he was hot! "No problem. Call me Carly, please."

"Of course and call me, Julian," he conceded taking a seat across from her. "I wager it'll make you feel a mite more comfortable than calling me 'doctor' every two seconds."

They exchanged a few pleasantries - minor small-talk like what part of England he was from (Kent), who Arsenal was (a football/soccer team), why did he choose to come to America (he needed better weather) - before Carly cut to the heart of the matter. "So, doc, what's wrong with me?" she asked, her voice much bolder and stronger than she truly felt inside.

Julian had been wondering when she'd finally broach the subject that had brought her to him in the first place. Often times, his profession was a very bleak existence; breakthrough and joy were many times nonexistent, despite his 'success' in the field. He had a feeling this case was going to be like this. Caroline Corinthos was so young, so vibrant, a mother, a wife... and she was dying.

"I've taken a look at your scripts from radiology as well as the results of your biopsy," he said, taking her file from a pile on his desk. He looked up at her, sitting so small on the other side of his desk. "I'm afraid they indicate a tumour in your pancreas."

Carly sobbed and looked away. Fear was suffocating her and it actually felt as though her throat was closing on her. She placed her head between her knees and tried to catch her breath. Julian hurried over to her and held her behind her neck, rubbing his hand along her back.

"Deep breaths, Carly," he instructed. "Deep breaths." His voice was strangely soothing and before long, she was breathing easier.

Carly finally raised her head and met his dark blue eyes, filled with sympathy. God, sometimes he really hated his job!

"Tumour," Carly repeated, her voice almost a squeak.

Julian nodded. He perched on the edge of the desk, keeping eye contact with her.

"_Tumour_... as in _cancer_?" she repeated as if to be sure.

"Yes."

Carly's eyes closed, and she felt tears pricking behind her eyelids. A keening moan escaped and her head dropped into her hands. Her shoulders began to shake with her sobs. Oh, _God_, she felt as though she would faint.

Julian, recognising the signs after many years of being the messenger, acted quickly. "Head between your knees again, Carly." He stroked her hair. "Long, deep breaths... keep doing it until you feel ready."

Five more minutes passed before she lifted her head again. Julian's hands cupped her shoulders, steadying her. She wiped the tears from her face feeling, of all things, embarrassed. He reached into his pocket and passed her a surprisingly snowy white handkerchief, which she accepted gratefully. "I'm sorry."

Carly took a shuddering breath, wiped the last of the tears from her face and squared her shoulders. "So tell me, doc, where's my pancreas?"

Julian smiled inwardly. Carly was being remarkable strong. He stood up and pointed to a chart on the far side of his wall. "The pancreas is that odd-looking thing there - it looks almost like a horizontal liver, thick on one end, thin on the other. This is the duodenum, the liver, spleen, stomach," he pointed each one out, Carly paying close attention. "Your tumour is here, at the thin end of the organ."

"So, what does it do?" she asked.

"It secretes pancreatic juice which aids in food digestion and also produces your body's insulin."

"Do I need it or can I get rid of it?"

"Well, it's not entirely indispensable," he explained. "It can be surgically removed. It's a procedure called a pancreaticduodenectomy or, quite simply, the Whipple procedure, but then the patient, well, they would have to receive artificial pancreatic fluid and insulin for the rest of their lives."

"You say '_they_'," said Carly, her voice direct. "Does that include me?" she asked, unable to disguise the hope in her voice.

"No," Julian replied, shaking his head. "There is a certain amount of time - what we doctors like to call '_resectable_' time - during which it's safe to operate when the tumour is confined to the pancreas. Unfortunately, Carly, yours is not." Carly looked away, but Julian pressed on. "The problem with this type of tumour is that is causes no symptoms at an early stage, so it's very difficult to be caught when surgery is a viable option. In fact, if Dr. Jacobson hadn't sent you to Radiology, you wouldn't be here talking to me right now."

"Wait," Carly said, shaking her head in disbelief, "Are you telling me that if I hadn't seen Dr. Knight, I never would have known I had cancer?"

"That's correct."

"Oh, my God," Carly whispered.

When next her gaze met her doctor's he continued. "Your cancer's spread to some lymph nodes known as the celiac nodes. Yours are enlarged - a further sign that operation is impossible."

Her next breath was deep. "Ok," she said, her voice matter-of-fact. "You can't remove the pancreas, so what can you do? Chemo?"

"That's one of the options," Julian answered, returning to his perch at the end of the desk. "There are options for pancreatic cancer which can prolong life."

"'_Prolong life_'?" Carly asked confused. "What the _hell_ does that mean?"

"Well, results differ with each case," Julian replied delicately.

"_Jesus_, Julian, I'm not a child, don't sugarcoat this! Not _this_!" she implored. "Tell me, say I take _every_ treatment there is available, how much time do I have?"

Julian frowned. "Two years... perhaps three," he answered frankly.

Carly was frozen in shock. "_No_..." she whispered. So _soon_? She would not see her sons grow up... "Is that the longest?" she asked desperately.

"There're no guarantees... my projections could be off a few months maybe even years... but, Carly," he said, reaching for her hand, "there is no _cure_ for pancreatic cancer."

Carly looked into his eyes and knew that he knew she understood what he'd been saying. That, no matter how much treatment she received, the cancer would eventually take her life. She'd needed him to boil it down to those simple terms and, now that he had, she was beyond frightened. But, she would not cry. She didn't have the strength to cry.

Now in the park, she sat and watched her sons playing, not surprised to realise that tears were running down her face. She hastily wiped them away knowing that, if Michael saw her crying, he'd want to know why, and she _couldn't_ tell him. She didn't know what to tell him... how to tell him. And _Morgan_... her sweet beautiful boy. She would never see them grow up and for Carly, who'd gone through so pain her entire life, so much struggle to even have her children, that was the harshest wound of them all.

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles, New York

"I was looking for Elizabeth," Emily explained, stepping fully into Zander's office. "Your assistant," she jerked her thumb in the direction of the actual showroom, "told me she wasn't here, but that _you_ were, so I decided to drop in."

By this time, she had made it over to his desk and stood smiling down at him, one hand clasping the shoulder strap of her handbag.

"How nice of you," Zander replied, with a small smile. He picked up a silver pen from his cluttered desk and leaned back in his chair trying, but failing miserably, not to notice how pretty she looked today. Emily wore a lilac sleeveless Tee in that silky stretchy fabric women adored, dark denim jeans and black slides. Designer sunglasses sat framed on the top of her head and her chin-length hair was free around her face. Zander cleared his throat and set his pen down. "So, how was your night?"

Emily's gaze dimmed, but she managed to answer without raising Zander's suspicions. "It was alright. Yours?" she asked, internally cringing at the half-hearted attempt at conversation.

"Long. I had to finish some reports which, as you can see," he indicated the files spread out before him, "I haven't been very successful at completing."

Emily frowned thoughtfully as she picked one of the files up and perused it. "Would you like some help?" she asked, after skimming over the contents.

Zander frowned skeptically. "Could you?"

Emily smiled and shrugged as she sat in the chair opposite Zander's desk. "Well I _am_ a CPA, you know."

Zander's mouth fell open. "You're _kidding_, right?"

She shook her head good-naturedly. "I had to do _something_ with my time in England and I'll admit I got Grandfather's zest for working with numbers."

Zander grimaced in mock pain and clutched his chest. "Say it ain't so."

X-X-X-X-X

Kelly's

Nikolas looked up in concern as Gia made her way back to their table. "I was beginning to think you'd fallen in," he said in an attempt to thaw the frosty mood she'd adopted toward him since they'd bumped into Emily.

The look she leveled him clearly stated that she was in no mood for jokes.

"_Oookkkk_," Nikolas drawled, taking a hesitant sip of his soft drink.

Gia sighed, realising she was acting childishly and, drawing on Zander's words in the bathroom for inspiration, she said, "I'm sorry."

Nikolas looked surprised. "You're _sorry_?" he echoed incredulously.

"_Yes_," Gia huffed, rolling her eyes, hoping he wouldn't make her repeat. "I shouldn't take my dislike of Emily Quartermaine out on you and I did, so I apologise." Her explanation was abrupt and she didn't look at him again until Georgie had set their food on the table and he reached for her hand.

"Why does Emily bother you so much?"

Gia held his gaze. "The same reason why _Zander_ bothers you so much," she replied truthfully.

At the mere mention of the other man's name, Nikolas's fingers tightened reflexively around Gia's. He nodded in understanding and simply let go of her hand.

They finished their meal in silence.

X-X-X-X-X

Portland, Oregon

Carly was maneuvering her car through downtown Portland when her cellphone rang. She had it set on hands-free so, after the first ring, the connection was open and Julian's crisp English accent came over the speakers.

"Carly, it's me -"

As soon as she recognised the voice, she snatched the phone from its holder. "Hi," she said, not wanting the boys, especially Michael, to know who she was talking to.

"Hallo, love," Julian replied.

Carly smiled reflexively. She could imagine him lounging in his beat up chair in his office repeatedly tossing a ratty beanbag ball into the air. He was the reason she'd moved to Portland. Not long after her treatment had started, Julian had admitted that he'd accepted a rather cushy job offer from one of the top hospitals in the country. By then, Carly had instilled such trust in him not only as a doctor but as a friend that she'd not wanted to part so, when he'd left California to head North, she did too. "Hey."

"Where are you?" he asked, hearing the busy sounds of traffic in the background.

"On the way home from the park."

"Oh, that's nice. Listen, have you got some free time today? There's something I'd like to discuss with you."

"Really?" Carly frowned and instinctively looked into the rearview mirror at her older son. Luckily, he was engrossed in a video game. "What?"

"Some treatment options. An old school friend from Yale is in town. He's been doing some very interesting things down at Johns Hopkins and I was discussing the elements of your case - he thinks he might be able to offer you another option."

"Are you serious?"

"What is it you Americans say... as a heart attack?"

"That's _great_!" Carly said, as she turned off at the stoplights and proceeded down the long road that eventually led to her gated community.

"So, have you got that free time?"

Carly looked up in the rearview mirror again. Morgan was slumped in his booster seat and Michael's head now lolled against the headrest in the backseat. They'd eaten in the park and the heat had liquefied their bones and they wallowed in lassitude. Once she got them home and Leticia set them in bed, they would be out for at least two to three hours. "Yes. Where?"

Julian rattled off the address of a bar in town and Carly promised to meet them there at in an hour and half for a drink. She signed off from the call just as she swung through the neighbourhood gates and, two minutes later, into her driveway.

Hearing the car, Leticia opened the door and stepped into the sunlight. Her eyes were red but she managed a seemingly good-natured smile as she opened the back door of the SUV. She unbuckled Michael from his seatbelt and gently lifted him from his side. He moaned a little and maintained a death-grip on his videogame but he didn't wake. On the other side, Carly did the same for Morgan, who didn't even stir. Quickly, both women took the boys into the air-conditioned cool of the house and up the stairs into their bedroom. They stripped off their shoes and socks, pulled the light sheets over them and quietly shut the door behind them.

Now that the two adults were alone, Carly was sure Leticia would want the answers to the questions she couldn't bear to ask that morning. She wasn't sure she was up to the task. Just telling the younger woman had been emotionally taxing.

At the foot of the stairs, Leticia caught Carly's arm. When she turned to face her employee, Carly was surprised to see anger coupled with the despair in the other woman's eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me? I mean, if you hadn't had some semi-breakdown this morning, would you have said something? Or was I going to walk into your bedroom one morning and find you _dead_?"

Carly looked away at the hurt in Leticia's voice and tried to fuel her guilt into anger. "It's none of your damned business!"

"I have worked for you for _ten_ years, Mrs. Corinthos. I have seen you become a shadow of yourself; I have seen you push away _everyone_ that loves you, _including_ your children. I held this family together, I kept your children _sane_! So, don't you _dare_ tell me it's none of my damned business when _I'm_ the one who's going to have to pick up after you're gone!"

Carly was shocked at Leticia's outburst. Leticia was too. Her hand was lifted to her mouth and her eyes wide with surprise. Carly took a deep breath. "You're right..."

"No, I was out of line," Leticia hastened to apologise. "I shouldn't speak to you like that, especially now..."

"I'm not dead _yet_, and I deserved it." She heaved a sigh and raked her hand through her chestnut hair. "I can't give you an answer to that question, Leticia." She met the other woman's eyes. "I'm so used to keeping everything inside... so used to having someone take care of me... if it wasn't my stepfather, it was," she paused and took a breath before saying his name, "_Sonny_, now you and Julian, my doctor. I couldn't say anything."

They had wandered over to the sofa and they sat on opposite sides.

"Do you ever think about him?" Leticia asked softly, hesitantly. "Mr. Corinthos, I mean."

Yes, Carly nodded her head. "More now especially."

"Are you going to tell him?" Leticia knew he would find out sooner or later - it was just a matter of who would do the telling that was important.

"I don't want to. But I _have_ to, I know that." Carly's dark eyes misted with tears. "If I tell him, it's all over - he'll want me to go back to Port Charles, he'll... _smother_ me. I don't think I can handle that."

"He loves you," Leticia pointed out in Sonny's defence.

"I know," Carly whispered.

"What about you? Do you love him?" she asked the question tentatively, knowing that that particular question was why they were constantly moving from place to place.

Carly looked away. "I don't know, Leticia," she finally whispered in reply, "I just don't know anything anymore."

TBC...

A/N: Another long chapter. I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to drop me a line or two.


	7. Chapter 7

Show: General Hospital

Title: Change is Good 2

Disclaimer: I own them all... really I do! Hmm... I guess it's also time to admit I'm a pathological liar.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter. Now, let's talk characters: What do you think of Julian? Good, bad, indifferent? What do you think? Drop me a line, and don't forget to let me know how you like the story so far.

X-X-X-X-X

CHAPTER SEVEN

Quartermaine Estate, Port Charles, New York

"Grandmother looks tired," Jason said softly.

Monica grimaced and looked away. "She's been especially so in the past weeks."

The two were strolling together in Lila's rose garden after their late lunch. Reginald had taken Lila upstairs to rest, most likely 'til just before dinner. The Quartermaine house was more quiet these days - Edward had surprised everyone by dying before Lila, who'd never been the same since his death; Tracy, not long after A.J. had run off with the family fortune, had disappeared again to parts unknown; Dillon had seemed happier after she left and had started to take music more seriously, so much so that when it was time to graduate and go off to college, he'd been awarded and accepted a place at Julliard, where he was studying to become a composer; Ned had moved to New York City to be closer to Brook-Lyn and to keep a closer eye on his little brother, to whom he'd grown closer to since their mother's latest abandonment; Emily had moved to London; Justus worked for the Mob; it was doubtful whether they would ever see A.J. again, not that anyone seemed to care which was a bit shameful; Jason hadn't lived there in twelve years, and Alan and Monica worked so hard at GH that they were hardly home anymore - and Lila was lonely.

"Is something wrong? She didn't look so tired at Joanna's birthday party."

"Well, she had something to cheer her up. The house is an empty nest," she said, pausing to look up at the elegant structure of the mansion, "she's just lonely. She misses your grandfather terribly, though _why_ I'll never understand." Monica smiled wanly, "Love is blind, I guess."

Jason smiled softly. "What about you, Monica? You look tired, too, and I know it's not just because you've been working so hard."

"I guess we're all a little bit lonely," she replied softly.

"Are you and Alan having problems?"

"No... it's not my marriage. Not _really_. I mean, I'm feeling the empty-nest blues, too. Without Dillon there to yell at for breaking curfew or Edward to gang up on," she sighed, "well... it's like we've got nothing to talk about anymore besides... _work_."

"Have you told him about the baby?"

"No," Monica shook her head. "I haven't even told Lila. Do you _want_ me to tell him?"

"I dunno," Jason shrugged. Though he would never come out and actually say it, Jason felt that one of the strains on her marriage was her rebuilt relationship with him. He'd been getting flashes of his life as Jason Quartermaine over the years, enough to be wary of Alan Quartermaine. The boy he had been hadn't trusted his father entirely, so it was no surprise that Jason Morgan wouldn't either. At the beginning of the rekindling of their relationship, Monica had tried to include Alan but Jason had been steadfast in his refusal. It wasn't hard to imagine that this hurt his father.

"You could tell him _yourself_," Monica encouraged hopefully.

No, Jason shook his head.

"Ok," Monica conceded.

"I'm sorry if this is causing trouble between you and him."

"He understands, Jason."

Jason's blue eyes were piercing in inquiry. "Does he really?"

"He cares about you. He understands how you feel -"

"He couldn't _possibly_ understand how I feel, Monica," Jason interrupted, his voice threaded with steel.

"He wants to try. He can't change anything if you don't give him a chance."

"Jason _Quartermaine_ didn't trust Alan, so why should I?" he blurted in admission.

Monica's eyes widened in shock and she looked as though she'd been slapped. "_What_?" her inquiry was barely above a whisper.

"Jesus," Jason roughly scrubbed his face in frustration. "I'm sorry, Monica," he said softly, gently taking hold of her shoulder.

"_No_," she shrugged her son's grip off. "What are you talking about? Tell me, Jason!" she demanded when it appeared that he would not answer her.

He turned his back to her but replied quietly. "He was _scared_ of him. He walked on eggshells around him. He didn't trust a word that came out of Alan's mouth because he never knew if it was a lie or the truth. He never allowed himself to even _care_ because he always felt that he would be disappointed, that he would wake up and see that same deadness in his eyes, that he would become that monster again... that he would hurt you again... that he would _snap_. And he couldn't understand why you didn't feel the same. Why _everyone_ in that damned house seemed to continuously sweep any problems under the rug. _That's_ why I want nothing to do with him."

Monica's bottom lip wobbled. "I _loved_ him... it was because of my love that I didn't abandon him when my mind was screaming at me to. He's changed. Haven't we all?"

Jason shook his head vigorously, his mind assaulted with a fresh crop of images - Monica covered in bruises, the despair in A.J.'s eyes, just one of many things that had contributed to his brother's drinking problem, the distrust he'd harboured inside for so long. "I haven't changed _that_ much."

X-X-X-X-X

PH2

Francis opened the door for them just as Elizabeth cleared the final step into the living room. Alexis and the two girls were giggling hysterically and Francis gave them all a good-natured wave as he closed the door behind them.

"Did you guys have a good time?" asked Elizabeth as both Joanna and Kristina hurried over to give her a hug.

"We had a _great_ time, Mama!" Joey gushed.

"What did you guys do?"

"_Everything_!" Alexis explained dryly, setting her picnic paraphernalia by the door.

Liz looked up at the older woman. "You look _exhausted_!" she said with a giggle.

"Don't I know it!"

Kristina and Joey had lost interest by then and were bounding up the stairs by the time Alexis took off her shoes. "Hey, girls, aren't you two gonna tell me about your day?" asked Elizabeth.

"Later! We're gonna miss 'Sponge-Bob'!"

Alexis smiled as she made her way over to the couch and collapsed on it. Liz shook her head and looked down at her friend. "You look beat. Can I get you a drink?"

"And a beefy Swedish masseur if it's not too much trouble," Alexis joked, leaning her head back.

"Sorry, Sven's out on another job, but I _can_ get you a Coke."

"I suppose," Alexis deadpanned.

Elizabeth chuckled all the way to the kitchen but, by the time she'd returned, Alexis looked a little better.

"Ah, _caffeine_!" Alexis took a long sip of the carbonated beverage. "Nectar of the gods!"

"You know, Lex, all that caffeine isn't good for you."

Alexis lifted a brow and looked at her. "You know, for a second there, you sounded just like Cameron. All you needed was the facial hair and a tweed sweater."

"Very funny."

The two women chatted for a while, Alexis regaling Elizabeth about their day in the park, before Alexis stood up. For Joey's big surprise, she'd taken them horseback riding, and her butt was doing all of its complaining now. "Listen, I gotta go. I have to be at the Grille for six."

"Whoa, hot date tonight?"

Inwardly, Alexis grinned. "I wish... Justus is buying me dinner. I think he's trying to pitch a partnership with me again."

"'_Partnership_'?" Elizabeth echoed dubiously, arching an eyebrow.

"Entirely _businesslike_." Alexis defended herself. "_Seriously_, so don't give me that look."

"Does Cameron know?"

Alexis pursed her lips. "No."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to speculate on why Alexis hadn't told him, but the look she leveled her make her think twice. "Okay," Liz conceded holding her hands up in acceptance.

"Krissy!" Alexis called up the stairs. "Mama's going now! Come give me a kiss!"

Both girls bounded down the stairs and Kristina hurriedly bestowed the requested kiss on her mother's cheek while Joanna gave her aunt a hug.

"Thanks Aunt 'Lexis," she said again.

"Anytime, kiddo. Bye, sweetheart," Alexis said to her daughter. "I'll pick you up in the morning."

As the girls bounded back upstairs to watch more television Liz turned to her friend again. "Thanks for today, Alexis," she said softly.

"Like I said, anytime." She hugged her friend. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye. And Alexis," Elizabeth called out as the other woman made to leave, "keep your wits about you and wear sensible shoes."

Alexis blushed at her comment. "It's a _business_ dinner."

She shut the door, but Liz didn't have to arch that perfectly plucked eyebrow to remind her that that was how she'd gotten into so much trouble in the first place.

X-X-X-X-X

"I'm impressed." Zander set his carton of shrimp fried rice on his desk and leaned back in his leather chair.

Emily's smile was brilliant. "I do try," she said, with mock smugness in her tone.

The two had been sifting through the gallery's reports and projections as well as sorting a system for dealing with clients for most of the day, pausing barely for coffee and stopping merely for the Chinese that his assistant had delivered before she'd left for the day.

"No, _seriously_, Emily, you really helped us outta a jam, here."

"No problem," she replied, folding a set of printouts neatly. "You _really_ ought to get a fulltime accountant," she advised.

Before he could stop himself, the words were out of his mouth. "You lookin' for a job?"

Emily's brown eyes snapped up to meet his. She hastily swallowed her mouthful of chicken lomein and asked, "You hiring?"

Zander paused, his dark eyes intent on hers. "We'll see."

X-X-X-X-X

Port Charles Grille

When he saw her standing at the entrance to the dining room with the seating host, he wished that she was there for an entirely different reason. She was wearing a navy-blue skirt suit with soft turquoise pinstripes that ended just below the knee and molded to her curves, and a turquoise camisole with lacy collar. Her legs looked _dynamite_ in a pair of navy pumps.

He wished that this dinner was like old times, a cover for what was really going on - that after they'd gorged themselves on dinner they would tumble themselves into his bed and have each other for dessert.

He knew that would never happen again, at least if Alexis had her way. She'd promised that the last time they'd been together, which was over two years ago. And she'd kept her promise, much to his dismay, maintaining a cool professional relationship with him whilst she'd launched herself back into her romance with the good doctor with renewed vigour.

He had hated every single of the twenty-six months - one hundred and twelve weeks; seven hundred and eighty-four days; nine thousand, four hundred and eight hours; five hundred and sixty-four thousand, four hundred and eighty minutes; thirty-three million, three hundred and eighty-eight thousand, eight hundred seconds since she'd kissed him last... two years, two months of absolute gut-wrenching, soul-yearning _torture_.

And she hadn't a clue.

Pasting a friendly smile on his face, Justus stood up in greeting.

"Sorry, I'm late," Alexis spoke, allowing the waiter to pull out her chair and seat her.

She appeared harried and Justus was concerned as he replied, "That's okay," and took his seat across from her. He waited until the waiter took their order - Scotch on the rocks for him, rum for her - and left them alone with their menus and the wine list before revealing his concern.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh?" started Alexis, looking at him in surprise.

"You look a little harried. Kristina giving you hell?" he asked good-naturedly.

A shutter fell over Alexis's dark eyes and she found herself wondering if he'd noticed. If he had, he certainly didn't indicate, which, knowing him as she did, probably meant that he had noticed, and she debated how much to tell him of what had gone wrong with her evening between leaving Harbourview and arriving at the Grille for dinner with him. "I'm fine," she replied firmly, meeting his gaze across the table. "Just have a lot on my mind." There, she'd hinted that something was nagging - which was obvious - but she'd also made it clear in only the way another fiercely private person like Justus would understand that she was _not_ prepared to talk about it.

He knew better than to fish.

Fortunately, the waiter reappeared saving them for the moment from having to make any awkward small talk. That came later, after they'd ordered their meal and the wine and Justus found himself limping through his first-course of sautéed mushrooms in conversation with a very inattentive Alexis who barely picked at her food.

After their dinner plates were cleared and they'd both declined desserts in favour of a coffee, Justus finally took the plunge. His gaze was observant as he spoke. "I could simply tell you why I invited you to dinner but, as a friend, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and ask you what's wrong."

Alexis took a deep sip of her fragrantly rich cafe mocha and took her time answering. When she did, her voice was flat. "Cameron and I broke up."

The Hallelujah Chorus broke out in his head.

X-X-X-X-X

Portland, Oregon

Across the country, it was a little before five in the evening in the fair city straddling the Willamette. Perhaps a bit early for drinks but somewhere in the world it had to be happy hour.

Carly parked her SUV in a side street and walked casually into O'Reilly's, a bar amongst many close to busy RiverPlace. After a brief inspection, she spotted Julian sitting in a high table in the corner with another man, who she supposed was the friend from Yale.

The man was doing great things, was basically what her doctor had told her.

She hoped he could do a great thing for her.

"Carly," Julian greeted with a smile, standing up. His friend stood as well as she made her way over to them. "Caroline Corinthos, this is Dr. Elliot Sinclair."

"Nice to meet you," Carly replied, taking the man's proffered hand. She wondered if he could feel the nervous tremour in her arm.

The knowing, yet friendly look in his dark brown eyes showed that he could.

Elliot Sinclair was not as handsome as his friend - very few men were - but there was such a kindness and air of competency about him that was strangely calming. On his feet, he was only an inch or two taller than Carly, stocky with a slight paunch around the middle and his dark hair was receding from his hairline. Yet, when he replied, his voice and friendly smile was like honey, immediately putting Carly at ease.

"The same, Mrs. Corinthos."

"_Carly_," she automatically corrected.

"Carly," he acknowledged. "_Elliot_."

"_Splendid_," Julian said. "Now we've got the hellos out of the way, I'm heading for the bar. Fancy a pint, Carly?"

"How about just one beer, huh, doc?"

"Elliot?"

"I'm fine," he held up his almost full bottle of Bud.

"Your Scots ancestors are rolling in their graves, Sinclair," Julian joked, scooping his two empty beer bottles up. "I'll be right back."

The two chuckled good-naturedly as they watched him weave his way to the bar.

"So, you're probably wondering why I chose to meet you here in a bar instead of the hospital," Elliot deduced, taking a shallow grimacing sip from the bottle.

"The thought has crossed my mind," Carly admitted, albeit warily.

"I've looked over your charts, Carly. _Physically_, you're a textbook candidate for the study. I simply wanted to get to know you a little better. A bit of a look into your _psychological_ outlook."

"Isn't that a _shrink's_ job?"

"Would you prefer a psychiatrist?"

"No, of _course_ not... It's just, you gotta admit, doc, this is a little unorthodox."

"Well, Carly," he looked at Julian, waiting at the bar for their order, "in time, you'll find 'a little unorthodox' are the perfect words to describe me."

Carly laughed with him and finally allowed herself to relax. Elliot was very easy to talk to and she found his strange brand of self-effacing humour quite entertaining. When Julian returned with their drinks, it was easy to feel that this was more of a get together between friends, than an interview for what Carly would learn was a highly controversial cancer trial.

"How controversial is it?" Carly asked.

They'd put Elliot in a cab back to his hotel and now Julian was walking with her along the street rapidly filling with the after work crew, heading back to her car.

"_Very_. It's a combination of chemo and radiation therapy plus a special cocktail of drugs before you become part of a trial study for the vaccine Elliot and his colleagues are working on. Elliot'll give you more details when he examines you personally."

Carly paused. "You know how I feel about chemo, Julian."

"I know Carly, but for Christ sake, hear me out!"

"Why is it so controversial?"

Julian dragged a hand through his shaggy hair. "Everything's a _trial_, Carly. The drugs... the therapy... it's _never_ been done before - at least not on this scale. The cons could by far outweigh the pros and you and whoever else is chosen for this study will be the people we learn those things from. Its critics believe it's far too big of a risk for so uncertain an outcome."

"And you... do _you_ think it's too big of a risk?"

By this time, they'd made it back to her car. They paused beside it and Carly gazed at him intently.

"I told you about it in the first place knowing how you feel about chemotherapy. I have faith in Elliot... he believes in this project."

"That's not what I asked you, Julian."

"Somehow, I don't think you truly want to hear what I think because part of you is _afraid_."

"Hey, that's not fair," Carly hissed.

"Not _fair_, but _true_, eh, Carly?" He reached out and took hold of her arm. Carly promptly shrugged it off.

"I told her," Carly admitted softly, tugging the elastic holding her ponytail and tunneling her fingers through her hair. "I told Leticia about the cancer and she said the same thing - that I'm _scared_. But I'm _dying_, Julian, I have a _fricking_ right to be scared!"

"Of _course_, Carly! No one ever said that you _didn't_!"

"Then quit making me feel that way for not jumping at the chance for regular chemo far less this project which would probably leave me like a goddamned vegetable at the end of it all!"

Julian took a deep breath. "Sometimes you have to take a risk, Carly... for your sons, for yourself..."

"It's alright for _you_ to talk... for _Elliot_ to talk. But _I'm_ the one who has to take the drugs. I'm the one who has to _'take the risk_'."

"_I'm_ taking a risk too, Carly." He stepped into her personal space and forced her to look into his eyes. "I started to take the risk the moment you stopped being just my patient and started being my _friend_. I hope this works out as much as you do... when will you realise that you won't have to go through this alone?"

"How big of a risk is it?" she whispered again, her voice child-like.

"A _big_ one. But we'll take it _together_."

X-X-X-X-X

"You're _late_. I was beginnin' to think you weren't gonna call."

Across the country in Portland, Leticia grimaced, as she stepped out on the patio with its riverside view. "I'm sorry, Mr. Corinthos. The boys had me worn out today."

Sonny chuckled, imagining just that. "How _is_ everyone?" he asked softly.

They both knew he didn't just mean the boys.

"_Fine_," Leticia managed to choke out the lie. "Everyone's _fine_."

TBC...

A/N: Well?


End file.
